Partly Facetious: the problem of a uniform for Lotas

"Ah, the ugly rumours - I tell you they dog the heels of the mighty..."
"Get your facts right, my friend. The mighty have heels that seem to be rather restless these days to say the least - I mean four countries at one go. Not fair. True there was Cambodia added on for purely educational purposes - to teach the illiterate people of this country something about world geography but the fact remains that there was bound to be some jealousy and with jealously come the rumours."
"They say he has so much to contend against."
"What?"
"Well there is the NFC award - I mean the four provinces are not happy with the award and poor Jamali..."
"Are you crazy - that's Musharraf's baby? You surely don't think anyone in his right mind would think that Jamali is responsible for that! I mean he may have been responsible for not apprehending the Baloch tribes when they were blowing up the gas pipes to the rest of the country but NFC...! Come on! Give me a break!"
"Well, then there is the element of the PML merger, well not quite PML merger but all pro-Musharrafites will now merge."
"Why?"
"I don't know - maybe because then they may have two-thirds majority to change the Constitution."
"Musharraf did quite well on that score without any help from the Parliament. He has learned like other military dictators that all you need is a couple of lawyers to redraft the constitution and viola! No politician challenges it, it's us, you know the yellow journalists and those who have no idea about national security, who challenge the changes."
"But the point is that the Chaudhry may have had enough of Jamali - he may want to be in the limelight now."
"I had heard Musharraf himself wanted to head this band of merry Lotas."
"Maybe that's why they are merging...you know Musharraf is an army man and they do seem to like uniforms so I reckon he will get his Lotas together and put a uniform on them."
"Wonder what colour it would be. And whether it would be our dress or a suit - Musharraf is used to wearing the pants, if you know what I mean."
"Well for Jamali's sake I hope it's not trousers and for the sake of Sir Sheikh I hope it is not the colour green."
"Ah yes."