Partly Facetious: an international incident averted thru Aristide ouster

11 Mar, 2004

"The former Haitian President says that the Americans kidnapped him and then took him to.."
"Hush, you can't say that about the Americans.."
"Yes, you can, once again. They can't declare another war so soon before the elections. I maintain that this is the best time to say something to the Americans. And this lull may not last long you know if Bush wins the elections."
"What was America's response?"
"Well, the two front runners in terms of answering questions, the dove and the hawk, ridiculed the idea that they would kidnap anybody."
"Who?"
"Powell and Rumsfeld. The former said it is an absurd allegation and Rumsfeld maintained that Aristide just couldn't have said what the entire world is saying Aristide has said. These two also probably scared President François Bozize of the Central African Republic where Aristide is staying to urge Aristide to refrain from claiming that he was kidnapped for fear of an 'international incident'."
"The international incident being the displeasure of the US! Cool. Such is the power of the sole superpower."
"But it's an election year don't forget. These two, Powell and Rumsfeld, no longer want the American public to think that they have imperialistic tendencies. I grant I am being a tad unfair to Powell but if you are part of an administration you have to take blame for the policies - however much you may disagree with them. Otherwise you can always quit right!"
"Right. But is the American public dumb? I mean all they have to do is look at Afghanistan, Iraq, statements against Iran and other Middle Eastern countries and.. and, hell, all they have to do is look at the neo-conservative concept paper which highlights the countries they must attack and know them for the imperialists they are."
"Ah, but that requires reading and most Americans I know just listen to the news, don't really bother with reading."
"I get it."
"Then there is Poodleland."
"Yes I know. Iraq just doesn't seem to go away, does it?"
"Nope. That will be his albatross yet."
"Hope so. I mean it was cruel to go into Iraq and see the bloodshed - I mean really! I believe they could have controlled the country much more effectively had they agreed to Saddam's proposal: hold elections and send their own inspectors to look for weapons of mass destruction."
"That proposal was the most carefully kept secret by Bush and his Poodle."
"And indeed one can see why?"

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