From birth, one of the greatest needs of all children is to be talked to, touched, cuddled, hugged, to see familiar faces and expressions and to hear familiar voices, and that others respond to them.
Children also need new and interesting things to look at, listen to, watch, hold, and play with. This is the beginning of learning. Human voices and faces are the most important things for the baby to hear and see. Therefore, babies should not be left on their own for long periods of time.
The first few years are vital for the development of behaviour and personality of the child.
Children learn how to behave by imitating the behaviour of those closest to them.
The example set by adults and older children is more powerful than words or 'orders' in shaping the growing child's behaviour and personality. If adults show their anger by shouting, aggression, and violence, children will learn that this is the right way to behave. If adults treat children and others with kindness, consideration, and patience, children will follow their example.
Children under the age of about four years are naturally self-centered. Only gradually do they learn to share and consider others. Selfish and unreasonable behaviour is normal in young children because they are emotionally as well as physically immature. As they grow up, children will learn to be unselfish and reasonable if others are unselfish and reasonable with them. They will learn to treat others as they themselves have been treated.
Young children easily become angry, frightened, and tearful. Patience, understanding, and sympathy with the child's emotions will help the child to grow up happy, well balanced, and well behaved.
Child's strong emotions
A child's emotions are very real and powerful, even if they sometimes seem unreasonable. Children may be frightened of strangers, or of the dark, or they may be very upset and cry about something very small. Or they may become unreasonable frustrated and angry if they are unable to do something or if they are told they cannot have something they want.
Parents need to understand and sympathise with the child's emotions. If crying or anger or fearfulness is laughed at or punished or ignored, children may grow up shy, withdrawn, and unable to express emotions in a normal way. If parents are patient and kind when a child is struggling with strong emotions, the child is more likely to grow up happy and well balanced.
Right and wrong
Young children sometimes appear to lie because they cannot yet tell the difference between the real world and the world of the imagination.
When a child does sometimes wrong or unacceptable, it should be pointed out firmly but calmly that this is not the way to behave. Simple and reasonable explanations should be given. Children remember explanations and rules given to them by adults whom they love and wish to please. Gradually they come to accept these examples and explanations as the basis for their own actions. It is in this way that the child comes to have a conscience and to understand the difference between right and wrong.
Crying is a young child's way of saying that something is wrong. May be the child is hungry, or tired, or in pain or discomfort, or too hot or too cold, or has been startled, or needs to be held and cuddled. Crying should not be ignored.
Some babies cry a lot and nothing seems to comfort them. Usually, this kind of crying begins at the age of three or four weeks and often happens at the same time each day. This may go on for up to three months. The cause of this kind of crying is not known. It does not seem to harm the child.
Building confidence
Young children soon outgrow their fears if they have confidence that their home is safe and that they are loved and protected by their parents or other familiar adults.
If parents show approval of a child's behaviour, this encourages a child to be good. So it is important for parents to look out for good behaviour and to show their pleasure and approval. This is a much better way of teaching a child to behave than constant criticism, shouting, and punishment.
Parents should show their delight when a child learns a new skill, however small. If the child receives no encouragement, or too much criticism, the desire to learn and development new skills is reduced.
Physical punishment is bad for children. It makes children more likely to grow up being unreasonable and violent toward others. It can also make children frightened, and this can destroy the child's natural desire to please and to learn from his or her parents and teachers.