Partly Facetious: Sub-continent variety of English

21 Mar, 2005

"You know these Western trips do little good to our politicians."
"If you mean Chaudhry comments about AZ being zero without BB and Shahbaz being double zero without Nawaz Sharif..."
"By merely using the word zero you are not exhibiting Western values. When did you ever hear a Westerner referring to another human being as zero? Yet it's pretty common in our part of the world, especially amongst Lotas not quite as certain as before about the fortunes of those they abandoned."
"I guess."
"But anyway that's not what I was referring to when I mentioned Western trips not being good for our politicians."
"If you are referring to BB and Shahbaz Sharif's ten point agreement made in London it seems to me to that this is the first time the two have articulated policies that one can easily support. They make sense."
"But then off she went and talked to Straw. One, the guy is the lowest of the low - I mean he is a Poodle's Poodle, don't think Shahbaz or AZ ever were in that category..."
"And who do you think she is talking to when she meets with these so-called Pakistani government emissaries?"
"Good point. But then Straw has also no idea about the Sub-Continent. Remember he is the one who said that Indians and Pakistanis don't understand each other. That was as stupid as if I said that the British and the Irish Republican Army do not understand each other."
"Yes. Indeed."
"Anyway when I referred to foreign trips I was merely referring to our suited booted Chief Minister as we say in our part of the world greeting his Indian counterpart was dressed in his national dress."
"Well, the Chaudhry's are not known for dressing in Western style clothes."
"That's precisely why I said he was under the influence, so to speak."
"You know that has a double entendre."
"Hey, how would I know! I don't speak English - I speak its Sub-Continent variety."
"Indeed you do. But then the Cousin Chaudhry did a very Jaat type of thing if you know what I mean."
"What?"
"He commandeered the city's buses to bring people to greet the Indian CM. Like he would do with a Musharraf rally."
"Ah yes. So the man makes the clothes instead of the other way around."
"In this case I guess."

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