Partly Facetious: ultimate source of all statistics

02 Sep, 2005

"I love statistics."
"Indeed. Second phase poll results show 48.75 percent voted or so says our election commissioner."
"After the first phase he came up with another precise figure."
"Indeed and where in the world did he get these statistics in a country that has been unable to even carry out a census for the last two decades or so."
"Man, the guy is bright!"
"Bright or just more loyal than the King."
"Our kings must understand this concept of being more loyal than they can be to themselves."
"If the going is good why bother!"
"So you would like this farce to continue?"
"What farce?"
"Of these statistics."
"Can't help it can I? The guy made an absurd claim after the first phase was over and he has made yet another claim after the second phase."
"Could someone tell him that if there is no computerised voting than such figures are simply not possible within a day of polling."
"Nah, I am not going to tell him. I mean his statistics are being quoted by our top leadership."
"Maybe we need to give them some more figures."
"Like what?"
"Like the chance of getting a boy or a girl is 50%."
"Cool. But one can find it through a scan, right, so you eliminate the odds..."
"More like pre-poll rigging."
"Be facetious as much as you can. But statistics are just hogwash. Babies are born to couples of the opposite sex 100% of the times."
"What about the test tube babies and the..."
"The source remains the same if you know what I mean."
"That's precisely what the election commissioner would say."
"I give up."

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