A number of social, psychological and allied problems would not arise and ratio of successful marriages would increase substantially in the Pakistani society if the triangle of mother, son and the daughter-in-law realise and honour their rights as well as their responsibilities and obligations.
This was the nutshell of an interactive talk show on very illuminative, informative and unique subject of " Our Unwanted Daughters of the East" held under the auspices of the Management of the Sukh Cha'n Wellness Club at the Anarkali lounge in Gulberg here on Monday.
Well-known psychiatrist Professor Dr Sa'ad B Malik introduced the intricacies of the rather sensitive and ticklish subject and then conducted the proceedings with mother of a newly-married daughter Ms Abid, family laws, legal consultant Ms Sarah, owner of a marriage bureau Mian Munir and another panelist giving their input in respectively in response to the pertinent queries made by the chief guest speaker.
Dr Sa'ad Malik with the help of slides. Dr Sa'ad Malik mentioned the prevalent social taboos that the birth of a son is regarded a source of security whereas that of a daughter is treated what he described as "useless investment". He then went on to pose the question whether the marriage of a daughter is a time to rejoice or cry for her family.
Talking about the finale of a marriage, he said that the boy's family leaves with a full belly of following a sumptuous meal at the expense of the girl's family; a lavish dowry provided by the girl's family in most cases on demand from the groom's family. At the same time, the girl's family is left with sobs and anxieties and prayers for the girl's "naseebs" to be favourable.
Dr Sa'ad Malik, who is a Professor of Psychiatry at the Allama Iqbal Medical College and Jinnah Hospital in Lahore, narrated two incidents involving an elderly person with meager resources and a retired mediocre public servant who came to consult him. The father of three or four daughters had requested the eminent psychiatrist to favour and help him by using his daughters to serve as the dead bodies in the medical college so that can be of some use for the medical students as he could not afford marrying off his daughters.
The retired public servant also had the similar problem, as he could not meet the demand of the would-be in laws of her even one daughter whereas he had three daughters and no son. Dr Sa'ad Malik then went on to dilate on psychological surveillance and highlighted at some length as to who develops problems with mother-in-law and with husband; anxiety, depression, resentment and frustration; increased expectations from the son, and; increased expectations from daughter-in-law.
Two short skits were staged by three students to highlight these problems arising from the marriages and then the subject was opened for general discussion by the audience. SCWC Chief Executive Officer Ms Nina Akbar, at whose initiative the interactive discussion programme was organised, thanked the guest speaker, the panelists and the guests for turning up in such large number and taking keen interest in the deliberations.