Paul Collingwood has revealed his despair after being axed as captain of England's Twenty20 team just a year after leading his country to their first ever success in a global tournament.
Collingwood feared the worst when he was called to a meeting with national selector Geoff Miller at short notice on Wednesday, but it still came as a massive shock to hear official confirmation that he would be replaced by Stuart Broad.
The Durham all-rounder, who captained England when they beat Australia in the final of the 2010 World Twenty20 competition, had retired from Test cricket to concentrate on staying fit and motivated for the Twenty20 role.
But now he has suffered a hammer blow, which could cause him to consider walking away from international cricket.
"I was full of optimism about trying to regain my form and my place in the one-day side," Collingwood told the Mail on Sunday.
"As for the longer term, after retiring from Test cricket in the winter I had my sights set firmly on leading our defence of the World Twenty 20 Cup in 2012.
"So when Geoff Miller told me, it was like a juggernaut had come along at full steam and completely wiped me out...just disbelief. "I felt a bit uneasy when I took the call. The problem was, try as I might, I couldn't think what else he would need to see me about.
"Then again I thought to myself, 'Hang on, I've been captain of a side who've won the World Cup and set a world record. Can they really sack me after that?' All in all, I had a pretty sleepless night.
"We met at 8.30 and while I had prepared myself for the worst, no one can prepare themselves for the words when they come. "What was so horrible was that I knew the decision had been made. It was not as if I could ask for a recount. I was devastated, gutted."