Partly Facetious: Altaf Bhai's jalsas are more orderly than others'

25 Jun, 2011

"If President Zardari, Nawaz Sharif and Altaf Bhai are all addressing a jalsa at the same time who would you opt to listen to?"
"I don't think such a situation would ever arise. They are all very savvy and don't want their thunder stolen by the other. It's simply not politic unless of course it's election time and there is..."
"OK, but what if?"
"What if what?"
"What if the unlikely happened and all three decided to address a jalsa at the same time."
"Well, I won't be able to attend President Zardari's jalsa...those are held indoors and only a select number of people are invited to attend and however much of a Zardi I may be I don't think I will get an invite. Now I wouldn't mind attending Gilani's jalsas, especially if he uses an air-conditioned tent and..."
"Gilani is not to his party what Nawaz Sharif and Altaf Bhai are to their parties."
"OK."
"Besides Gilani's air-conditioner is not meant to cool down the audience, just himself."
"Right."
"So, between Nawaz Sharif and Altaf Bhai whose jalsa would you attend?"
"Altaf Bhai's."
"I see, you support the MQM ideology and the fact that they have long worked within the government which allows the party to ensure that they can get work done, see that is critical and at the same time..."
"No, I would attend Altaf Bhai's jalsas because they are orderly jalsas - everyone sits on the floor and there is no pushing or shoving like in the PML (N) jalsas and the PPP jalsas."
"And I heard the party also feeds those who attend in the Punjab."
"Not in Sindh?'"
"Nah the way to a Punjab's vote is through his stomach?"
"I see, and the way to a Sindhi's heart?"
"Through the topi and ajrak and need I add that has already been successfully tapped by the President."

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