"You know I am tired, sick and tired...."
"What? You have the virus? I thought you took great care, or perhaps the more appropriate word is greater care than the rest of us...."
"Don't be silly! Sick and tired is an expression in the English language with no counterpart in Urdu - we in the Sub-continent are either sick or we are tired, we are not both."
"Sick in English could be used as being ill or sick as in wanting to throw up or sick as in a mental state where you are bored, so which one were you referring to?"
"Hey sick and tired implies fatigued and bored."
"Hmm thank you the clarification - I mean its not as if English is our national language and..."
"English is as much of our national language as curry is the national dish of the UK."
"How can you say that!"
"The Khan wears local clothes now but speaks in English whenever he goes abroad. Anyway my point is if you take away the orange hair and replace it with black, not burgundy black - that is the preferred hair colour of the Banana Man Rehman Malik, but jet black hair and trim the excess pounds off, Trump has more in common with The Khan than any other head of government in Pakistan with a US president."
''How?"
"Trump is onto his third marriage, so is The Khan, Trump reckons he is a lady killer, so does The Khan..."
"Two differences my friend - first of all The Khan used to be a lady killer but has since found religion, Trump hasn't, not yet anyway, and while Trump's children are clearly going to inherit from him - his money and his political legacy, if any remains, The Khan's children are unlikely to inherit his political legacy and that my friend Trump has in common with Nawaz Sharif and Zardari sahib."
"So Ivanka and Maryam Nawaz but I reckon Maryam is more likely to become the head of government..."
"I am not so sure anymore. Maryam's capacity to alienate people and then attack them publicly is becoming legendary - I mean she is credited with Parveen M Rashid's ouster from the Ministry...sorry Pervez Middlesex Rashid though he has since opted to become her most ardent follower...."
"Right and don't forget she publicly declared that one of her selectees Mohammad Zubayr misrepresented her words, she has Shahid Khaqan Abbasi and Ahsan Iqbal toeing her line and I am sure that irks them both ..."
"You give anyone the prime ministership and he has delusions of grandeur - I mean Gilani sahib is still smarting from those delusions. Ahsan Iqbal is so intense I would like to say to him cool it toots! This is Pakistani politics - if you are the leader you go in and out of the country and if you are from the second tier then you have to select the right splinter group and I am not sure he is in the right camp yet."
"Ha ha what did you think of Maryam embracing uncle and cousin when they were presented in the court room..."
"They showed their true feelings in their rigid body language and startled expressions and..."
"Ha ha sounds like The Buzz accompanied by Firdous Ashiq Awan!"
Copyright Business Recorder, 2020