“The oil report is out and my question to The Khan is: has the lesson been learned that the media’s narrative is not all about the inability of his media handlers to project the government’s narrative or biased in favor of the opposition but that the narrative itself is flawed and …..”

“God knows the attacks of his media handlers against the opposition have a level of venom that rivals a cobra.”

“Heavens! What imagery! Anyway I recommend that The Khan should base his selection on a principle that he himself adheres to…”

“Honesty and commitment to the uplift…”

“No to keep their weight constant, and anyone whose weight is rising after getting the position is perhaps, just perhaps….”

“Don’t be facetious – that would get rid of Shahzad Akbar and The Gill whose gills are extracting the administration’s oxygen and discharging carbon dioxide.…”

“But Shibli Faraz has retained his weight…”

“So keep him on anyway you didn’t let me complete my two part question. The Khan recently justified the appointment of the largest number ever of advisers and special assistants in our history because they are specialists who are needed to run ministries as opposed to the elected cabinet members and secretaries who are generalists.”

“Ah I see where you are going with this! The oil report showed that before appointing a specialist care must be taken to ensure that the specialist is perhaps an academician so there is no conflict of interest and…”

“Yes that too but my point is that the three member committee set up by the Prime Minister to look into the oil report does not have a single specialist….”

“How can you say that? Asad Umer is heading the cabinet committee on energy and I reckon The Khan is training him as his successor….”

“Here’s hoping that Tareen doesn’t return into the fold.”

“Yeah but anyway the other two are generalists and know little about the sector other than the fact that their cars run on petrol.”

“The two are highly educated getting their degrees from foreign universities and…and wait…another theory is that if one has the educational background enabling him or her to ask the right questions then he or she can reach the root of the problem….”

“Yes there is that theory but then the learning curve of the committee members…”

“Hmmm I guess the Prime Minister has selected his loyalists with not relevant degrees but….”

“I reckon he has selected them on the basis that neither of the three has gained any weight since the PTI government was installed.”

“Oh dear Lord.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2020