“Subsidy will be targeted so stated our Finance Minister and the objective: to insulate the poor from inflation.”
“Well, isn’t that what all previous finance ministers, be they party loyalists or technocrats or turncoats, do?”
“You missed one category: samdhi where you have to get your child married to the offspring of the party boss…”
“You know I am a die-hard Nawala but I tell you if Mian sahib appoints Dar as the Finance Minister again I will withdraw my support.”
“Samdhi beats a voter any day… And if he appoints Maryam Nawaz?”
“She has ambitions to be the prime minister not to be a measly finance minister.”
“OK, so what if he appoints her as prime minister?”
“There will be so many, many, corpses on the way that mine will be just another.”
“Ha, ha, in thousands or hundreds of thousands or…”
“Some say in millions…”
“Would there be anyone left?”
“Well, Talal Chaudhary would be chief minister Punjab – take that Khan sahib! And you thought no one could be worse than The Buzz.”
“Don’t be facetious, and what about Zubayr?”
“She would like him to be the Information Minister but I guess he has higher ambitions so perhaps they will agree to make him Commerce Minister.”
“Given that he has learnt so much about commerce from the Sharifs!”
“Don’t be facetious, and Danyal Aziz may be the Interior Minister and need I add he would be better than the present one and…”
“Speaking of Interior Ministers the Sindh Minister while referring to lies by the current federal cabinet members said if they are eating a banana and you ask them what they are eating on the phone they will say apple…yes, yes, that is what Zulfikar Mirza said about Rehman Mailk…”
“So what is this? A Sindhi saying cause the alternative may lead to the Sindh Minister losing his job.”
“Right, but turning back to weighty measures: does the finance minister realize that higher subsidies would mean higher budget deficit which together with the depreciating rupee, you know each rupee loss of value vis a vis the dollar raises the debt servicing costs by 100 billion rupees so a higher deficit which is highly inflationary and……”
“Hey, to combat inflation the focus is on the mafia, and the aarthis, so stop being so disrespectful and disruptive and bring on the Pakistan Regulatory Media Authority!”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2021