You could say that the last few weeks have brought out the best in our political elite. It’s when push comes to shove that your true colours shine, after all, so in a way there’s further proof, if any were still needed, that some of the most disliked traits of this society are also some of the finest qualities of most of the people that fight over and run this country. And things and loyalties are changing so fast in the run-up to the no confidence vote that it’s getting very difficult for headlines to keep up with who’s taken the lead in throwing more mud on the other.
For example, if MQM-P’s handshake with the opposition really holds till this piece goes to press, it would make the government’s PML-Q surprise quite literally as well as figuratively yesterday’s news and the Buzdar sacrifice would have to be described by another chess term - blunder. Brushing all that the PM once said about Pervaiz Elahi being Punjab’s biggest thief (daku) under the carpet at least brought the Punjab government. But gulping what Elahi now had to say about the PM, diapers and all, and then this? Not to mention Imran Khan’s own tall claims about never bending, never being blackmailed, etc?
Without MQM-P the PM will lose the numerical strength needed to keep the House, so setting fire to everything he said about Buzdar for four years just ahead of the last act might not sting only the man he threw under the bus in sheer desperation. Surely, this is not what he meant when he said that he and Buzdar would finish their innings together. However that goes, you can already tell what kinds of adjectives await MQM-P from PTI’s rank, file, and social media warriors. Time was, not too long ago, that PM Imran Khan found them “exquisite” (nafees), and would often talk about “contesting the next general election as partners”. Of course, that was just before the ruling party chose not to honour any of its commitments made to MQM-P.
All this confusion comes from our cherished and enduring political tradition of horse-trading. Ordinary Pakistanis don’t like it at all because they’d rather hold on to the assumption that government of the people, by the people, etc., ought to be about the people as well; not just the self-serving of the breed that is rich and powerful enough to play politics. And the first thing you’d expect from the architect of Naya Pakistan is a sermon about all its harms.
But it tends to lose its meaning when he surrounds himself by the same turncoats, showers ministries among them in the same way that he bitterly criticised others for doing, and openly claims this practice is bad only when the exodus is from his party. And to top it all, he gets those of his ministers to shed tears and shake fists about it at press conferences who’ve practically written the book on party-jumping. An information minister going to town on dynasties and dictators he served just as loyally as his new master - interestingly enough, after years of rubbishing his new master for his old masters - and an interior minister sounding the death knell of opponents he used to plead ministries out of - and also ridicule the present PM, for years, in the process - officially lead the charge in PM Khan’s battle for clean politics and clean politicians. And anybody who shines by shouting louder and using dirtier insults than the opposition is promptly pushed up the chain to assist them.
You can’t make all this up. In trying to outplay the other, each side is also imitating the other. PTI, especially, has made sure to make all the moves that it just cannot tolerate in any other political party, including making populist policies for sheer political leverage in complete disregard for the real health of the economy, using ministries and other government office as bait for political support, sidelining political opponents, invoking a grand international conspiracy against it, etc. And it’s got electables from other parties that came its way when it looked certain to win the last election, to attack their old parties for the same things that they did for them and continue to do for PTI to try and win points for their new party.
It’s not even the port calling the kettle black. It’s the pot calling the pot black.
Copyright Business Recorder, 2022