“Catch 22 for all.”
“All I want to say is non status quo individuals are not going to follow the status quo mode of behavior.”
“Who are you referring to?”
“No, The Forecaster…”
“Hey The Khan’s Third Wife may have legitimately bought a few trinkets gifted to her on her trips to Saudi Arabia but she is not a public figure I have to let you know…”
“I wasn’t referring to her as The Forecaster but the Sheikha and…”
“Sheikhas have never ever set foot on Pakistani soil to the best of my knowledge - they do not accompany their husbands to Third World countries like Pakistan…”
“I apologise, I meant Sheikh Rashid, the one who claims to be The Great Follower of the establishment as well as The Khan…”
“Reminds me of a Mark Twain statement; my best friend is a staunch conservative while my brother is a hardcore liberal and never the twain shall meet.”
“So which one is The Khan, Zardari sahib, Nawaz Sharif?”
“The Khan is an authoritarian environmentalist, Zardari sahib is an authoritarian secularist and Sharif is an authoritarian neo-republican.”
“I agree all three are authoritarian — no dissent tolerated except those on the fringe who make their government possible, they are mollycoddled and I am referring to the usual suspects — electables who will win irrespective of who they support…”
“Indeed, and the political discourse is based on good and evil for The Khan, with no room for not choosing…”
“Hmmm, an animal does not choose he says but while animals don’t engage in philosophical or religious debate, yet if you offer an animal two different types of food it will select one over another…”
“And when he gets hungry again he will go for the other right.”
“Right, anyway The Khan has done much for the environment, I mean even if his ambitions were not fully realized his tree tsunami and getting rid of the plastic bags in shops…yeah, yeah that lasted a few months in Islamabad but still…”
“Hmm, I would have thought Zardari sahib may have taken the lead when he was President. I mean his very first ministry conferred by his spouse was Environment wasn’t it.”
“Don’t be facetious, anyway secularism is perhaps one of the few initiatives by Zardari sahib’s father in law and wife that the party still supports.”
“Right, and Nawaz Sharif is a neo-republican whose definition has changed over centuries and I reckon he defines it as rule of a minority of one, with unlimited powers, after general elections.”
“There is a disconnect in your logic there…”
“Just for that you aren’t going to be getting a PML-N ticket that I know.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2022