“So The Khan says he tried to nominate the army officer in he FIR who he suspected of being behind the attempt on his life but inspite of having his own government in Punjab he was unable to do so while the official army spokes-office has advised him to use legal means to…”

“Right a proverbial stalemate if I ever heard one.”

“Anyway my suggestion…”

“Let me clarify – your suggestion as someone with neither the expertise nor associated with a relevant department/entity that is empowered to carry out an investigation, not even a lawyer…”

“Former and retired and not even a former judge?”

“You can be as facetious as you like with politicians but…”

“But? Ah I see you aren’t going to say anymore, anyway my suggestion is that someone out there please take someone to court on defamation charges, and we do have relevant laws, that reach their logical conclusion, so a verdict, preferably punitive…”

“With our luck the case maybe so weak that its thrown out of court.”

“What about the case filed by The Third Wife against Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN)?”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you! A battle that would prove once and for all that women are not the weaker sex – they not only enjoy the perks and cash and privileges of their men folk…”

“Whether they show their face in public or not.”

“That’s not fair – The Third Wife has opted not to show her face in public and I ask you between the two women who spends more money on imported make up and don’t forget we simply do not have the foreign exchange to spend on…”

“Well I have noticed the carefully plucked eyebrows and eye make-up that rivals NMNs and besides NMN doesn’t need to take dollars or pounds out of the country, she has enough reserves abroad.”

“Hmmm, anyway NMN was given tandoor (local oven) as the election symbol what do you think The Third Wife may land up with?”

“Hey without a notification she gets to select the entire team of…”

“Those whose name has an ain, the 24th letter of the Urdu alphabet...and Shah Mehmood Qureshi and Fawad Chaudhary no letter insertion post the party’s 9/11 which is the 9 of April 2022…”

“Dear, dear, me, one question Bushra doesn’t have an ain either.”

“You don’t know what The Khan calls her.”

“What?”

“That’s for you to find out.”

“I have neither the expertise nor have ever been associated with a relevant department/entity that is empowered to carry out an investigation, I am not even a lawyer or a former judge or…”

“I rest my case.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023