“Oooops.” “A suicide bomber…” “Hey that’s not a topic I want to discuss. I find it extremely disturbing and offensive that the suicide bombers are Muslims and they kill Muslims and…”

“Yeah, yeah, but when I referred to a suicide bomber I wasn’t literally referring to one.”

“Oh I see, I agree 9 May should not have happened and need I add it provided a perfect storm for those implicated by those who were, let’s be honest, on the back-foot till then and these are the ways of divine…”

“My life experience has always been that in life there are ups and downs and I would like to ask our politicians how come when they are in power they never, ever, ever, think that a down is down the road.”

“Excuse me but you need to qualify your statement. Apart from party leaders and their blood relatives all other politicians have the option of detaching themselves from surrounding one wagon to attach themselves to another…”

“You are so right but does this apply to Zardari sahib too? True he thought he would win the 2013 elections because of the Benazir Income Support…”

“It’s those dratted bricks comment that got him down.”

“And out of the running till perhaps now – so ten years…”

“Anyway when I referred to a suicide bomber I just want to emphasize that I was not referring to a suicide bomber in a literal sense but in a non-literal sense.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Well, OK let me clarify. A non-literal suicide bomber is one who has installed a revolving door to a specific portfolio, keeps coming back, and keeps performing very poorly…”

“Example?”

“Our finance ministers – be they loved by any political party or institution. They come, launch their suicide attack through remote control and return through the revolving door.….”

“Hmmmm.”

“But I reckon on a scale of one to ten The Accountant is a ten – he not only presented a budget that is a non-starter because there are just no resources to make it remotely credible but he launched another missile during his post budget press conference by talking of reprofiling the debt which has plummeted the markets further.”

“Mission accomplished!”

“What?”

“You just don’t understand his relationship to Nawaz Sharif and how critical it has become to the well-being of the people of this country.”

“That I understand now.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023