“Is there any ain Arif Alvi?” “I understand that ain, the twenty fourth letter of the Urdu alphabet, in any name is like a golden visa for spiritual guides…”

“I would up it a notch.”

“Excuse me?”

“Not golden but more like a diamond visa if you wanted an important portfolio and a double ain…”

“I thought that was for Wasim Akram Plus.”

“Talking about Wasim Akram I could never understand because there is no ain in that name…”

“That’s why the use of the word Plus – Wasim Akram Plus has to be Imran Khan and lo and behold the letter ain sets the stage for the name.”

“Don’t be facetious anyway why did you mention Arif Alvi? I mean the ain regime is no longer in a position to award portfolios.”

“Well my point is that the damage done by Arif Alvi is far greater than the damage by…by…”

“Glad you have the sense to stumble on that – I advise the word stakeholders.”

“Right Arif Alvi has done incalculable damage to The Ain, the ain at the top of the ladder.”

“Hey how come? The guy has gone for Hajj and this may well be the last time he gets any protocol so had I been him I would have gone too.”

“And his backup, once in favour now no more, is busy signing off on all advices sent by the prime minister, including the National Accountability amendment that could land The Ain into jail.”

“Hmmmm - there is no ain in Sanjrani either.”

“There used to be earlier – I mean I know of some who would add an ain between sanj and rani.”

“Sanj means evening right and rani queen so what are you trying to say?”

“Between evening and the queen…”

“Stop right there.”

“All I would like to say is that names that have no ains must be carefully monitored and not allowed to…”

“To take such decisions?”

“Precisely.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023