“I reckon there is something in Lahore water…”

“Well it couldn’t be Karachi water right! I mean aren’t you guys on tanker water courtesy the tanker mafia?”

“Hey back off – this isn’t a competition about who is in a worse position.”

“That’s indeed true – in other countries there is competition on who is ahead and we compete on who is worse.”

“Yes but with a twist: we don’t say we are in a good place, just that the other province is worse off than we are.”

“Anyway when you mentioned the Lahore water were you referring to dengue cases?”

“Nope, not that either.”

“Did you use that expression metaphorically?”

“Now you are getting warm.”

“Lahore water can turn even those coats that appeared to be ramrod straight.”

“If you are referring to the erstwhile closeness between Zardari sahib and Chief Minister Punjab Mohsin Naqvi then you and I both know that politics makes strange bedfellows.”

“The strange bed fellows being Naqvi sahib and the Noons…and I hear he has agreed to provide a helicopter to Nawaz Sharif on his return to transport him to Minar-i-Pakistan from the airport and then to Raiwind and…”

“And that brings me to what I meant when I said there is something in the Lahore water. The two Lahori leaders, Nawaz Sharif and the Man Who Must Remain Nameless are both born and bred in Lahore and both made the mistake of convincing themselves that there is only Plan A and they are it.”

“I reckon that reflects an inflated ego and we all have a bit of that, the mistake to my mind was in sharing this view publicly – I mean The Man Who Must Remain Nameless could have shared it with his Pakpattan contacts while the Noon could have shared it with his coterie of sycophants…”

“Noon as in Nawaz Sharif?”

“Yes and I am not referring to the rise and fall of his platelets making him gain weight but as in High Noon.”

“As in midday?”

“No as in happy hour – the hour when he will land in Lahore and address a mammoth crowd…”

“Which incidentally will not indicate the number of seats he will win.”

“OK and before he addresses the crowd he will drink Lahore water…”

“Don’t be facetious. I reckon he may defer his return after his speech which prompted Shehbaz Sharif to take the next flight back to London.”

“I reckon The Third Wife, the murshed of many - human and reportedly two non-human - sent some Lahore water to London before Noon delivered his speech…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023