“I had two kids and was pregnant with my third - and my husband said not to miss out on this opportunity.”
Doctor Sadaf Ahmed reminisces about receiving an acceptance offer from an American dental school in December 2021, when she was given approximately 15 days to wrap up her life in her current USA state to another. Being a Pakistani immigrant and thus an International student, her story is of course filled with a plethora struggles - specifically three attempts and thus, three years to get in.
Ahmed received her Bachelor of Dental Surgery from Altamash Institute of Dental Medicine and permanently moved to the USA almost a decade ago when after giving a series of exams and work experience she was accepted into an American dental school’s Advanced Standing Program.
This program forces international dentists to in a sense “repeat their education” in the USA to ensure it adheres to the country’s dental standards.
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“From graduating in Pakistan to getting in a dental school in the USA it took me 10 years. Of course I had other responsibilities - I got married, had kids but the process for international students to get in is so competitive.”
The trauma begins
Each year that Ahmed applied to dental school was entrenched with increasing responsibilities at home - whether it was having more children or taking care of her father-in-law who was unwell. At the same time the process of applying took an emotional toll on her as the application system almost penalises an individual for having a gap in work experience with no appreciation of diversity of the candidate.
The ideal applicant has no responsibilities at home, the younger the better and no obstacles in life in order to pursue a continuous flow of resume friendly experiences.
The financial toll is no less with around $10,000 being spent per cycle of applications. Getting accepted into a program carves a bigger hole in the bank account. Ahmed commented, “It is a big sacrifice. Financially you’re re-paying. Being an international student, my program fee was $360,000 and a regular dental student here did not even pay this amount in four years.”
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Tip of the iceberg
Ahmed had no idea that her passion to get into dental school would also be accompanied with the most gargantuan struggle of her life.
“It was the most challenging thing I had ever done because my children were under four years of age and I was pregnant with my third.”
The curriculum had an online component, so every Thursday she would try to catch a flight back home till her family moved to be with her three months later.
“It really affected my son. He was acting out and some days he wouldn’t talk to anyone.
“During that four-day week I used to get calls from my husband because either my son wasn’t eating and or I had ask him go to sleep on speaker phone. I remember wearing headphones and speaking to them during my pre-clinical trials.”
Different for women
There is no doubt that Pakistani immigrant men have their jarring experiences abroad but the pendulum swings differently for women.
It might be a combination of traditional Pakistani values and passion for work that brings women in a situation where you try to accommodate everyone.
Your family through homemaking, society by child rearing and yourself by pursuing your dreams. The emotional plight is evident when Ahmed talks about a snowstorm in her university’s city where everything shut down.
“I was going crazy because I couldn’t do anything. I started searching for flights and it was a $1,000 and there were times I used to say I’m gonna get this. My brother used to call me to calm me down and assure me that it was not worth it.”
And then there are the Pakistani immigrant women not in the limelight.
Like the ones who support their male spouses and try to push them up every time an unfair complication arises or the mother of immigrants who have been an integral part in child rearing – who sacrifice their lives to ensure their grandchildren are being brought up properly. And of course, the children, who do not understand why their main source of comfort has left them temporarily to ensure their bright future ahead.
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The curse of Pakistan
When asked how she would do things differently, Ahmed says she would pursue her degree with confidence. She talks about her imposter syndrome and how the culture in Pakistan has contributed to it.
“On the first day of pre-clinical trial, they asked us to do cavity preparations I was like I will fail miserably. They’ll think that we Pakistanis are terrible dentists and I kept thinking about our image.
“Here they are brought up differently. If a teacher is not talking to us courteously then we can go and complain. We are not brought up like this.”
Is it worth it?
Like Ahmed, there are several accounts of female immigrants in the medical field who have had to leave their children in another city or even back home in Pakistan. Yet, they have powered through with the future of the upcoming generations in mind.
Ahmed had started making her arrangements by utilising resources in her family and community network the instant she received her acceptance letter.
She continued unwaveringly in her educational path despite the gut-wrenching distance from her children and one-off strange remarks at the university like “you guys watch English movies?”
When asked if it was worth it she says, “It’s definitely worth it but the journey is not easy. Go into this if you really love this. Attaining the degree is not easy and not everyone can do it. And I would say it is more special for international dentists because only an international dentist knows what they’ve gone through.”
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