“Ah Antonio, Antonio, Antonio!” “What prompted this….this…refrain?” “I am not sure the word refrain is used for repeating someone’s name is it?”

“Well it is now. Do you recall the famous line from Shakespeare’s play Richard III: a horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse”!

“Yes but what is this with reference to?”

“Antonio as in Antonio Guterres said during the UN Security Council meeting that Hamas did not launch its 7 October attack in a vacuum.”

“Hmmmmm, and the Israeli representative wants his kingdom – wants him to resign and…”

“What about the Americans? Didn’t Blinken say the US doesn’t want to engage with Iran in the Middle East?”

“Perhaps the US is coming to terms with the steady loss of its influence in the rest of the world though Israel certainly…”

“Talking of Israel, an audio purportedly by a Palestinian boasting to his parents after killing Jewish people in Israel…”

“I reckon that should make us Pakistanis proud. I mean to my knowledge no other country had used audio tapes in the past decade, I mean given the ease with which videos are accessible to all…”

“If I recall correctly all the audio tapes uploaded on the social media in this country, and there have been more than twenty to thirty so far - those that were refuted or not - led to calls for forensic audit by the opposing political team and…and…”

“And ne’er a forensic audit was done.”

“Well yes so my point is, did anyone call for a forensic audit of the audio tape in the UN Security Council meeting”?

“Nope, I propose that The Man Who Must Remain Nameless, the guy most negatively affected by the release of audio tapes, be sent to the UN…”

“His life insurance is limited to the environs of Adiala jail”.

“Don’t be facetious.”

“Well there is no way he is going to be allowed to go.”

“OK so how about the Third Wife, I mean…”

“I don’t think anyone other than those she guides spiritually, and I include the Khanzadehs, would be receptive to whatever she has to say.”

“How about sending Mishaal Malik? I mean given her background and her husband Yasin Malik’s continued incarceration by the Indian government…”

“Not happening. Kakar is however available for this onerous job.”

“On one condition. That there are no stopovers anywhere other than New York and back.”

“That’s not fair – I suggest only two stopovers – one in Frankfurt and the other in Rome and…”

“And the fiscal space will just get narrower.”

“That’s all the fault of The Man Who Must Remain Nameless because…”

“Right, just because”.

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023