“The Greedy for Portfolios Samdhi (GPS) is in Kazakhstan to attend the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation summit.”

“Did he take the Prime Minister’s plane?”

“I think so - he is deputy prime minister so that makes him eligible to take the prime minister’s plane.”

“Well when he was finance minister way back in September 2017 - occupying more than 50 chairmanships bestowed by Nawaz Sharif - he also commandeered the PM’s plane. Oh and coincidentally at that time too his destination was Kazakhstan to attend the Central Asia Regional Economic Cooperation meeting…”

“He ain’t going nowhere as long as Nawaz Sharif calls the shots.”

“I wasn’t aware he was calling the shots?”

“Shots are not only fired at the big game if you know what I mean. Our forests are depleted of big game in any case and so small game is all that is left.”

“I heard the houbara bustard is also almost extinct here…”

“Which explains why Nawaz Sharif needed the iqama.”

“Oh shush, don’t be facetious. In any case look at the glass as half full – in 2017 GPS returned the plane and not himself, and need I add we, the people, got a reprieve for the next four to five years…”

“Look back on the supposed Golden Era of Nawaz Sharif – 20013-17 when contracts were signed with the Independent Power Producers under the China Pakistan Economic Corridor umbrella which accounts today for ever rising tariffs and capacity payments while not having enough foreign exchange reserves to allow the IPPs repatriation of profits or import of fuel and then getting excited about cheap renewables - solar energy - without thinking that the capacity payments bind us to…”

“Yeah, yeah and don’t forget GPS’s decision to control the rupee dollar parity in 2021-22 which lost us 4 billion dollars in official remittance inflows.”

“OK but he is the foreign minister now and his capacity to do damage is limited.”

“How come?”

“Because decisions relating to major capitals are not taken by the Foreign Minister…”

“You reckon that leaves the rest of the world for GPS?”

“Till he makes another major blunder but I will join the foreign office plea for help from

Bilawal Bhutto Zardari: will you please put this hapless country out of its misery and…“

“Misery we are used to.”

“OK then keeping us hostage to an incompetent man…”

“That we are also used to.”

“So what then?”

“Nawaz Sharif needs companionship. With Notification Maryam Nawaz engaged in other official duties GSP should give Nawaz Sharif company.”

“Smart!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024