“So explain the Punjab defamation bill to me.” “An aggrieved person can go to the one-man tribunal, appointed by the government, for the government and of the government and need I add all the major elements of a democracy will be met.”

“I know two men who would never be appointed to head the tribunal as long as Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN) occupies the chief ministership chair – former chief Justices Saqib Nisar and Bandial.”

“Don’t be facetious anyway the aggrieved person can register the case against anyone and lo and behold the accused would have to cough up 3 million rupees in a sort of escrow account and this is before the tribunal decides whether the accused has the right of defense.”

“That’s jumping the gun sort of, I wanted to know what constitutes defamation. For example can I say that…that….the Punjab Cabinet under the able leadership of NMN decided to include cosmetic surgery in the list of medical treatment allowed abroad to members of the cabinet, the senior provincial bureaucrats, say from grade 17 onwards…”

“That would be defamation I reckon. To make it non-defamatory you could use a few adjectives for example under the very able leadership of the most beautiful ever chief minister…”

“I would agree unhesitatingly with that statement. Especially the last two chief ministers we have had – The Buzz and Chaudhary Pervaiz Elahi who incidentally has arrived at his home…”

“That reminds me; why did you leave out Naqvi sahib, the non-aligned former chief minister.”

“I would have thought he is very much aligned…”

“Beware the implementation of the Punjab defamation law.”

“Right – you could include daddy and Uncle as well and I would still rate her as the most beautiful chief minister ever.”

“Hmmmm no competition there right. Isn’t she the only woman chief minister ever?”

“OK if you want to be technical about it. Anyway would it be defamation if I say that I would love to see the beautiful chief minister wear the uniform of chief of army staff…”

“Hey stop turning that page.”

“Don’t you think that would strengthen the women’s movement? I mean this is the most powerful office in the land and while we have had a woman prime minister, a woman chief minister so why not a woman chief of army staff?”

“Shut up because I know for a fact that you can’t put up.”

“Is that for me or for the most beautiful…”

“Shut the hell up.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024