“I am arranging a wrestling match, and I am taking bets.” “I don’t get you! I mean, given that not a single wrestler from the Land of the Pure is part of our seven-member Olympic squad – two each to compete in athletics and swimming, and three for shooting…”

“Shooting? Are you being facetious?”

“No I am not, shooting clearly has replaced the ground hockey squad we used to send, I am not sure if it took longer than a decade for our hockey team not to qualify for Olympics after the patron in chief was the country’s prime minister…”

“By the way isn’t the prime minister also patron in chief of our cricket? I was wondering how long it will take for…”

“Currently led by The Brown Pope and the Lord be praised, our cricket is going the same way as ground hockey. But you must look at the glass as half full.”

“What?”

“The glass is half full because instead of the taxpayers’ covering the expenses for a fifteen to twenty-member hockey squad, or paying for the cricket team and for expenses incurred by The Brown Pope whenever and wherever he desires to see our cricket team in action we will save all that foreign exchange.”

“But we did pay for the Brown Pope’s visit to the Pope, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, but cheaper than paying for the whole team.”

“True anyway, the seven-member squad is accompanied by eleven officials led by The Rana, who has extensive experience as Punjab’s Home Minister and Interior Minister.”

“So?”

“So he knows when to give the order to shoot and when to…”

“Dear Lord.”

“Anyway, I intend to have a wrestling match between The Rana and the Brown Pope.”

“And who will you invite as guest of honour?”

“Punjab Chief Minister, but with two provisos: she must come on a scooter and wear an appropriate uniform.”

“What about daddy? I hear he is available…”

“Nah, the guy won’t look good in a uniform, maybe someone from the force…”

“Hush, and what odds are you giving for The Brown Pope’s victory?”

“First, let me see the colour of your money.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024