“I was listening to the Democratic Party Convention and as Doug Emhoff, the husband of Kamala Harris, came on the stage he was referred to as Second Gentleman?”

“And your question is?”

“Why second gentleman? Why not the first?”

“Second because he is the Vice President’s husband and if she wins the elections then and only then will he be referred to as first gentleman.”

“So who is the first gentleman today?”

“No one, there is a first lady though, Jill Biden.”

“But…but… I acknowledge that I am thinking like a Pakistani, but you know when any position is vacant in this country it is quickly filled by the next in line, though sometimes the position filler is never confirmed and at other times he/she can be upgraded to that position and a notification issued…”

“And sometimes a position is created, remember Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN).”

“OK, the next question is: do you think that the policy to get former first spouses and presumptive spouses of someone contesting the elections will ever be followed in the Land of the Pure?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“That was rather a categorical denial. Why do you think so? I mean, spouses of all our former prime ministers, barring none, have accepted very expensive gifts from Arab countries and have never ever sold the gift to raise money for the poor or for their education or their health or for…”

“The Third Wife of the Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless is a religious woman and…”

“And yet she left no gift behind!”

“She did, about half of the gifts received are in the Toshkahana.”

“Yes, I do know that you are one of the swing voters who believes that the Third Wife is the root cause of a couple of genuine cases against a Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless…”

“Not only the swing voters, some of the diehard…”

“Alright, alright, but would her husband ever agree to her coming on the podium to address a crowd?”

“No I guess not, all her reported interactions with the media show her venomous nature against friends - PTI supporters - and foes alike, but to your question Zardari sahib would in time invite his youngest daughter to the podium, Nawaz Sharif has launched NMN so she speaks routinely to the public, and then there is the Prime Minister who currently has two wives so in the interest of equality, fraternity and liberty he does not allow either to speak…”

“Those are the three principles of the French Revolution and…”

“There you go.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024