“I have another proverb for you: jack of all trades and master of none – does it relate to the people of the Land of the Pure?”
“Well I will not allow you to use an Anglo-Saxon name, not acceptable, not allowed, and I will make sure that you never ever…”
“I see you are enamoured of the Trenchman.”
“Excuse me? Trenchman?”
“Hitherto referred to as the Brown Pope and His Containership. I reckon those names have assumed secondary relevance as I went around Islamabad on Monday and saw trenches had been dug on major thoroughfares and not so major thoroughfares, and it would require billions of our tax rupees to fill them and repave them…”
“Trenches are normally associated with war…and as far as I am aware, the Trenchman has never ever served…ahhhhhh.”
“So you are not as obtuse as I always reckoned. Anyway when I said you were enamoured of the Trench man I was referring to his media talk, two days before Gandapur left Peshawar for Islamabad, one day before, on the day and a day after saying precisely what you said, the Khanzadehs will not be allowed because it is unacceptable…”
“Oh dear, but you know why I still remember Chaudhary Nisar after his being in the political wilderness for seven years? He minimized the stop time of traffic flow and…”
“And The Trenchman has maximised it, and for your information that means that he is successful.”
“How come?”
“Anyone who achieves first place from which ever end must be appreciated.”
“That presupposes that the head and the tail are interchangeable. I mean you could be the worst and you could be the best…”
“In the land of the Pure, both ends have equal relevance, so shut up.”
“Sealing Khyber Pakhtunkhwa House…”
“Again, never been done before – appreciate it silly, for it moves the final frontier that much forward.”
“Hmmm, what did you think of the speeches made during All Parties Conference on the Palestinian…”
“I heard the President and his unalienable right to demolish the English language…”
“He was tired, and he is not well and…”
“And was sandwiched between our version of the Brothers Karamazov – between Dmitri and Ivan Karamazov…”
“Not applicable – one was portrayed as a sensualist and the other aloof, reserved…”
“I rest my case.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2024