PARTLY FACETIOUS: ‘I am guilty of being shallow and yellow’

Updated 16 Oct, 2024

“I plead guilty.” “Whether you plead guilty or innocent doesn’t matter - the nature of your crime merits a military court – a swift decision rather than lingering on for decades and…”

“Hey, aren’t you interested in knowing what I plead guilty to?”

“It’s not relevant! You plead guilty, and you become eligible for appropriate punishment.”

“I am guilty of being shallow and yellow. What punishment is appropriate for that offence?”

“I… I… I”

“Cat got your tongue.”

“Well not the cat, Pakistan Electronic Media Regulatory Authority (Pemra) has got my tongue if you know what I mean.”

“Oh well, that’s OK then, one must adhere to all rules and regulations that are formulated by those so much wiser than you and I.”

“Correct, and that is not shallow, though perhaps a shade of yellow.”

“Be careful and wise, my friend.”

“What do you mean…oh no I don’t mean yellow in that sense, I contracted jaundice recently, and you know, one’s body colour changes to yellow…”

“It depends on your complexion. Yellow and brown makes caramel, and need I add I am particularly partial to caramel, yellow and black makes green while yellow and white makes from cream to pale yellow depending on the…”

“Are you being facetious?”

“Good heavens no and from what I can observe your complexion is more brownish than say black and…”

“I always thought my complexion was caramel – didn’t need any mixing and…”

“Oh shut up.”

“OK but just so you know the caramel colour comes from a mixture…”

“I repeat - shut up.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024

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