“Do we have an award with the title of Person of the Year?” “Well, we have other much coveted titles.”

“For example?”

“The title of Chief Justice, the title of head of the constitutional bench…”

“Hey, just the title of a Judge of the Supreme Court is an honour, but that’s not a title that’s a position and once you retire the universally abhorred epithet of ex is attached after your last position…”

“Ex is not an epithet, it’s a prefix which in our part of the world mostly acts as a noun – and as we all know a noun carries greater weight which is also timeless – see an ex-general or an ex-prime minister or an ex…”

“Well an ex-prime minister is in jail, by the way can we say that the Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless has made history as being the prime minister with the longest ever sojourn in jail?”

“Not yet, Z A Bhutto was jailed on 3 September 1977 and hanged on 4 April 1979. There are a few more months to go…”

“Hmmm so Nawaz Sharif and his daughter together did not serve as long as…”

“Revenge is a dish best served in multiples of…”

“Don’t be facetious – anyway, will you take a bet: I reckon The Man Who Must Remain…”

“Nope, not taking that bet anyway, I asked you whether in the land of the Pure the title of Person of the Year is…”

“We have Nishan-e-Haider and Nishan-e-Pakistan, but those are for keeps not for just one year.”

“So no award which is time bound?”

“Not to my knowledge but it’s an idea, Times magazine bestows this award, so perhaps our media organisations can get together to bestow such an award…why are you shaking your head?”

“I know of some politicians who own media houses so let’s see The Brown Pope, His Containership, will propose the name of his benefactor and no I reckon that is not the prime minister, and there is another media Mogul who ain’t gonna propose the name of a former bureaucrat, his predecessor in the Privatisation Commission…”

“But these are just two out of nearly 60 to 70 members, but as a matter of curiosity who would you nominate as person of the year?”

“Mishal Malik who I reckon would be the best face to show the world of Indian intransigence and cruelty to Kashmiris, in the caretaker set up she was appointed as…”

“Not likely.”

“Because Amir Muqam would get upset?”

“No, he can be given another ministry or one can be created for him. I hear Notification Maryam Nawaz opposes her appointment.”

“Why? I don’t think the two have ever met and…”

“I don’t know about that, but Mishal is more of an eye candy without any technical…”

“Good heavens, this is not a joking matter.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024