Partly Facetious: Minor heart attack or hernia

03 Mar, 2015

"I enjoyed one game more than the other on Sunday."
"What two games? As far as I am aware Pakistan played Zimbabwe and for all the cricket fans in this country our team made sure that there were a few minor heart attacks before winning the match remember when the team was 4 for 2?"
"Yeah, but people had minor heart attacks or hernia?"
"Excuse me?"
"Hernia as per the dictionary is the protrusion of an organ through the wall of a cavity that normally contains it. In other words, it needs not be the heart..."
"Could it be in the stomach?"
"I am not a doctor but I would assume so, and I guess you are thinking of Maulana TQ's hernia which, if we are to believe him, was the direct outcome of residing in a container on Constitution Avenue for around three months! He is currently abroad for treatment."
"TQ as in Thunderous Qhitab!"
"Mixing two languages?"
"For our dual nationals to better understand..."
"You are being facetious - anyway why didn't the Khan suffer a similar fate?"
"Khan was a young 60 plus during that time, TQ is an old 60 plus."
"You are referring to Khan's subsequent marriage I see, but anyway I thought hernia was treatable in Pakistan?"
"Depends on your socio-income group? For anyone earning up to 250000 rupees per annum, there is no tax and need I add there is also no way to afford foreign treatment. Those with foreign income, and praise be to Allah most of our leaders fall in that category, can go abroad for treatment irrespective of domestic facilities in public hospitals that incidentally they are responsible for and not pay tax on that income."
"You are being facetious today. But what is the second game you referred to earlier? Getting a minor heart attack or hernia?"
"No, that's not a game - I was referring to the ongoing game of Senate elections. Zardari sahib can talk to anyone, even those he would love to poison and..."
"Hey, back off... poison indeed."
"Oh you are right, poison is a woman's weapon of choice and Zardari sahib is no woman."
"Oh stop, but I guess I agree Zardari sahib is being too clever but he is slowly and surely losing grass root support and..."
"Till such a time as he does when he will summon his eldest born, he will continue dealing from his pack of cards and need I add his house of cards includes a Maulana Fazlur Rehman, an Altaf bhai, a Chaudhry Jaat and the Khan and..."
"Indeed."

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