Partly Facetious: Ratings of all talk shows has gone down

01 May, 2015

"So what's the latest in the Khan camp?"
"Well, the Khanzadehs have submitted proof of rigging, or so they contend, and their leader has stated that there is irrefutable proof in the borees (large canvas receptacles) in which the votes are stored..."
"That was not my question."
"If you want me to tell you the lesson that should be learned then let me tell you that there is a need for the borees to be done away with."
"Are you being facetious?"
"No, not really, I mean the borees contain the proofs and let's be honest if there are no borees then there would be no problem."
"And what do you replace the borees with?"
"Have bonfires. See in our country the only entertainment is either to watch television, and need I add that the ratings of all talk shows has gone down in recent years as the public is over satiated with these shows, and have turned to dramas instead so a bonfire would be great and need I add one could have barbecues and..."
"Who would supply the meat for the barbecues?"
"Why the political parties who have changed the way jalsas are conducted these days of course! And I give the entire credit to the Khan who single handedly changed the way jalsas are conducted - I mean there is singing and dancing now and if only there was barbecue as well..."
"You are being facetious but anyway my question when I asked what was the latest in the Khan's camp was essentially for you to analyze his popularity chart?"
"Well, three things are evident and I hope the Khan would consider them. First and foremost God bless Zardari sahib for scaling down the PPP popularity graph from national politics..."
"Zardari sahib cited the failure of his wife to secure even a government in Sindh in one election so he reckons he is way ahead still."
"Maybe, but let's not forget that Benazir Bhutto changed after her defeat and reconnected with jiyalas in the next election and there is no such move in progress in the Zardari camp. The Khan should also publicly thank Dar sahib for doing the Zardari for the PML-N and I would advise the Khan not to insist on elections before the due date because Dar sahib has still a lot of work ahead of him."
"Don't be facetious."
"Secondly, the Khan must acknowledge that massive attendance at a jalsa which provides entertainment to our entertainment-starved public may or may not translate into votes."
"OK that I accept and third?"
"Third, he has lost support because of his bride and one analyst said to me that the number of women supporters has declined as a consequence."
"Grapes are sour?"
"Well, there are no grapes left if you know what I mean."
"Ha ha ha."

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