Partly Facetious: Nawaz's presence critical for all decisions

13 Feb, 2016

"So LNG is the bestest deal..."
"Should be, because the price of oil to which it is linked has fallen to such lows. But don't forget: if the price of Brent rises so will our oil bill."
"For you it's damned if Mian sahib does and damned if he doesn't."
"And need I add it's damned if Zardari sahib does and damned if he doesn't for you."
"Ha ha, that's us - Nawalas and Zardis - but you know the most quoted expression these days: if mian biwi razi kiya kare ga kazi (if the husband and wife are agreed there is not much the magistrate can do)."
"And who is the husband and who the wife and need I add who the magistrate?"
"The husband and wife are Mian sahib and Zardari sahib and the magistrate is the Khan and now do you know why the Khan doesn't get his way."
"And who is the husband and who the wife?"
"Oh shush - you are just trying to create divisions between the two gentlemen. And our magistrate the Khan reckons he has the power to de-legitimise the union but really in today's world where common law marriages are..."
"Oh dear, dear me I give up. But going back to the LNG deal why do you think Mian sahib's presence was required in Qatar to sign the deal?"
"Mian sahib's presence is critical for all decisions that are likely to have positive political implications my friend haven't you caught on to that yet. He announces a farm package of Rs 240 billion...oh what happened to that by the way?"
"The local bodies elections are over and Dar said it to be budget neutral and..."
"I get it and Mian sahib also announces any decline in price of petrol and products and electricity, even though the reason for the decline is a decline in the international price of oil..."
"With minimum pass through - Dar sahib keeps the lion's share of the decline."
"Hey, the domestic petrol price and electricity price compares favourably with regional countries..."
"Which regional country are you talking about? India with more than 7 percent growth, China with around that much, both countries with massive foreign exchange reserves and hardly any foreign debt and their exports rising..."
"I hate when you do that! Counter my arguments... this is anti-state rhetoric."
"And need I add the Chinese and the Indians do not juggle their data as much as Dar sahib and..." "We are doing better than Afghanistan." "Indeed we are and that is why the West lumps us with Afghanistan - we are no longer South Asians right. There are AfPak reps..."
"I guess."

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