Partly Facetious: This culture of facetious resolutions

08 Apr, 2016

"Maryam Nawaz Safdar really needs to revisit the components of her B team."
"What's with Maryam Nawaz Safdar? And what's with the B team?"
"Oh, I received a press release from the Parveen Rashid-controlled Press Information Department giving the retired Captain's status report after months or is it years and you know and I know that only those who are close to the powers get such official treatment."
"Oh, well, that's good anyway please change your keyboard as it is not Parveen but Pervez Rashid..."
"Sorry, it's just that my aunt's name is Parveen who I correspond with frequently and when I did a spell check Pervez was replaced with Parveen."
"I hope you are not being facetious but anyway what's this about the B team?"
"Well, it has to be a B team you know if they hurl accusations against the Khan's use of funds for Shaukat Khanum. This B team needs to understand that Shaukat Khanum is a cancer hospital that treats the poor free of cost while the offshore accounts of the Children are used to support their life style."
"So tell me what would the A team have done?"
"The A team should have been led by The Accountant who has benefited the most from the First Family and he should submit an affidavit that it was he who advised them to open offshore accounts and..."
"Oh, you are soooo bad."
"And I ask you what is this culture of facetious resolutions - I don't understand the Punjab Assembly's denouncement of the Panama leaks - I mean is it to denounce the fact that the leak occurred for after all these offshore companies basic selling point is secrecy and..."
"I agree about the resolutions - who else would you have appointed in the A team?"
"You couldn't have Chaudhry Nisar because a leadership struggle for the team chair would have begun."
"So how about Saad Rafiq: wasn't he one of two people from the government side negotiating with the maulvis recently?"
"He has been silent on this issue but since Dar sahib can convince the maulvis of anything then why doesn't he get them to hold a joint press conference on the offshore leaks and..."
"Ooh, you are being so very facetious today."

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