"I am reminded of the nursery rhyme about Jack Sprat and his wife."
"In connection with what?"
"In connection with our politicians; but first things first: the rhyme is Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. And so between them both, you see, they licked the platter clean."
"I still don't get it."
"Well, the point is that there is sharing and..."
"Ah I see, so you are referring to our version of sharing notably muk mukaa (deal making)."
"Right, now I ask you a question: who doesn't like lean and who doesn't like fat?"
"I don't think it's a matter of who likes what, it's more a matter of what is available and if you are in the centre then the fat is richer and if you form a government only in the province then there are leaner pickings."
"So you contend that its access rather than any inherent like or dislike for a particular food item?"
"In our politics yes, and once the platter is clean then it needs a wash and as dishwashers are rare in this country and more expensive to operate than labour so the dish washing is done by factotums."
"Necessitating appointment of minister for disinformation?"
"Don't be so dismissive about this key post, we have had stalwarts in this position, don't forget Mushahid Hussain who would threaten journalists when he was Mian sahib's naib qasid, and we have had intense jockeying for this position an example being the innocent lady who just couldn't learn to walk on heels and Kaira, the man who talks ten to the dozen and now we have a man who talks dozen to the ten..."
"Whatever does that mean?"
"He talks veeeerrry slowly..."
"Right, so he is more succinct perhaps, articulate..."
"Nah, he is just slow... the content comes from the PM's daughter."
"Don't forget the idiom, slow and steady wins the race."
"He is slow but not steady, the steadies are in Lahore these days, he is somewhere in AJK."
"Don't be facetious."