"I love my country."
"We all do, it's called patriotism and..."
"I love some of the decisions taken by the S K Abbasi administration."
"That's not right - it's S K P Abbasi."
"No, his name is Shahid Khaqan, where does the P come in?"
"P is the most important letter in his name now - stands for Proxy."
"You are being facetious!"
"No, anyway he is the Energy Man now, and he has experience in the sector and he owns Air Blue and so there you go - relevant experience!"
"Right, so how do you explain Khawaja Asif being appointed as Foreign Minister? He has absolutely no idea what he is talking about! I mean the guy said with reference to the BRICS joint declaration proscribing LeT, JeM and Haqqani group that it is also our responsibility to take appropriate measures while Pakistan had already proscribed these three entities."
"He has been in the job for only a month or so, give him time...besides that's not where his expertise is at."
"Well, held the Water and Power Ministry portfolio for 4 years and bad-mouthed all those provinces where the opposition parties held sway and who complained of load shedding by accusing them of theft and not paying their bills. Four years down the line the circular debt is higher than ever before and the sector is suffering from poor management and then there is Defence - all the time he held that portfolio his relations with the army were appallingly poor..."
"And that's where his expertise lies: he can be abusive against all known enemies of Nawaz Sharif and if he applies that same principle to our foreign relations then..."
"Then things couldn't get worse than they are!"
"Don't be facetious... anyway speaking of our Interior Minister he knows more about China Pakistan Economic Corridor than about law and order. Then we have Khurram Dastgir, the Minister for Defence, a portfolio with only protocol and no responsibilities, and Commerce is with a man who is a great campaigner alongside the former First Daughter, then you have a finance minister who knows all about money laundering..."
"Are you being facetious?"
"No, didn't he draft and pass a bill that deals with money launderers and their abettors very effectively..."
"Now I know you are being facetious. In any case he is an accountant..."
"Did you see Ben Affleck's movie The Accountant?"
"No."
"It's about an accountant that the mob hires and who amasses great wealth himself and..."
"I take exception to that! Dar sahib is a loyal Nawala and never made any money from the Sharifs other than getting good portfolios and he made a lot of money in exile by working for a rich Arab and Arabs are old world - they pay their staff not through banks but through other means..."
"Don't be facetious."