Partly Facetious: Get your dotted keyboard mended

18 Dec, 2018

"At last! At long last, Parveen Rashid has finally been accused of a crime associated with our influential politicians!"
"I have said it once, I have said it a million times, get that dratted key board mended, it's Parvez Rashid."
"I tender a heartfelt apology but my intent was not to..."
"Hey, one can accept your apology if you do it once, even twice, but you have done it umpteen times, anyway what did you mean when you said Parvez Rashid has finally been accused of a crime associated with the more influential party leaders?"
"Buzdar, the most recent Khanzadeh convert, and need I add, I would become a convert in a second if I was to be offered the chief ministership of the largest most prosperous province..."
"Easy-peasy; all you need to do is to somehow convey to The Khan that you are visibly uncomfortable when seated next to any woman, local or foreign, you need to give the impression that you would never grow into your position you know like some of our presidents wearing two hats..."
"Don't be facetious. The Khan likes him and it's the Khan's world these days. Anyway what did you begin to say about Parvez Rashid?"
"Well, Buzdil sahib has..."
"Stop right there. It's Buzdar not Buzdil - and the excuse that it's your key board is wearing rather thin at this point..."
"I am from an Urdu-medium school and not from an English-medium school so..."
"Really! That's your excuse!"
"OK, sorry, but I wanted to say was that Buzdaaaar sahib..."
"Back off."
"Sorry, anyway the chief minister Punjab has released a list of defaulters of Punjab House Islamabad, you know where Nawaz Sharif used to hold his press conferences when his brother was still chief minister and..."
"God you get side tracked so quickly...what is Rashid accused of?"
"Of not clearing his bills due to Punjab House - apparently he owes Rs 7.05 million and I am not sure he has that much money to clear his bills and."
"I am sure he has learned his lesson though."
"The lesson not to stay where the bill mounts up and..."
"Good heavens, you are so not with it! The lesson is simple: to get the friendly chief minister, in his case Shahbaz Sharif, to write off the default when he was till chief minister!"
"Don't be facetious."

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