"I want to compare the three information gurus of the three national parties of this country."

"As a Khanzadeh, I would take exception to your statement. The PML-N and the PPP are now regional parties and their heydays are over, the people have rejected them and..."

"Ziaul Haq thought he had finished the PPP, Musharraf thought he had finished both the PML-N and the PPP and Zardari sahib thought he would win the 2013 elections, Nawaz Sharif thought that he would win the 2018 elections and..."

"Ah, but this time I can say definitively..."

"Look I don't mean to understate The Khan's appeal to the masses but appeal is an amorphous concept - changes from year to year, month to month besides The Khan won a very thin majority in the national assembly, and in Punjab his party won less seats than the PML-N and..."

"The people have been convinced after the Surreygate and the Panamagate and..."

"Both places are out of Pakistan."

"So? There are documents my friend, there are documents..."

"Right, but 95 percent of Pakistanis can't see beyond their street leave alone their constituency."

"OK, don't sidetrack me, I wanted to talk about the three information gurus of the three major parties and let me begin by saying that Firdous Ashiq Awan..."

"Excuse me, but are you talking about the period when she had the Ministry during the PPP tenure or now?"

"Don't be facetious; besides it shows that she is committed to dissemination of her evolving version of the truth through the state-run media..."

"Now who is being facetious? Anyway, I would have you know that The Khan has around 30 spokespersons dedicated to presenting his narrative to the people and she is just one of them..."

"If The Khan needed 29 more then it just shows..."

"Yeah, anyway Kaira, a confirmed Zardi, is of the old school, he reckons the faster he talks the greater the impact on the people..."

"Hmmm, he has surpassed a good secretary's typing speed of 65 words per minute and for the life of me, at that speed he loses me after the seventh word and given that the first four words are PPP Chairman Bilawal Bhutto Zardari sahib..."

"So Maryam Aurangzeb is the clear winner?"

"Hands down, she is logical even though defending Mian sahib's latest legal strategy is a challenge and she is very articulate and never ever loses patience with any interviewer..."

"I agree. And the credit goes to former First Daughter..."

"Hey I hear her capacity to take decisions has been compromised."

"She could be an Umar Akmal - landing up in the core team in spite of some questionable..."

"Don't be facetious."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2019