"The Khan reckons that all is well and the problem is the failure of around 20 plus disseminators, read those dealing with the media, unable to convey to Abdul Public that his administration is doing an exemplary job in all areas of government activity and..."

"Abdul Public?"

"Well, you can't say Joe Public can you, I mean Joe is not a Muslim name and..."

"What is in a name I say as long as the meaning is clear!"

"In the land of the Very Pure, it's all in the name silly. I ask you what bugs The Khan the most - being referred to as Imran Niazi or being referred to as Selected Prime Minister?"

"Both, I would say because reportedly he has issued a memo making it an offense to refer to him as Imran Niazi and referring to him as Selected Prime Minister has led to the ongoing impasse with the opposition and need I add the incarceration of many stalwarts from opposition parties..."

"But the one who began to refer to him as Selected is still out."

"Well, there are cases which implicate Bilawal with his daddy and aunt but...but a case against Bilawal, unlike his daddy, is not likely to stick and..."

"Hey, that hasn't stopped our law enforcement agencies dealing with cases of corruption; Rana Sanaullah is in and has been for quite a while on a charge that no one actually believes he is guilty of, then there are charges against many but no proof which explains why so many prominent members of the opposition are behind bars no references filed against them for months on end and..."

"So you reckon there is a need to match performance with appointments?"

"Yes I most certainly do, I mean the 190 million pound plea bargain between country's real estate tycoon and the UK Crime Agency should have led to some action against the guy here...."

"I hear he has offered to build houses for the poor pledged by the Prime Minister..."

"And inexplicably Shahzad Akbar named Hussain Nawaz, not mentioned by the UK agency, as the guy who is actually responsible for the 190 million pound..."

"That is the nature of his job and that is evident because The Khan recently gave him two hats to wear, The Khan indicates his liking for individuals by the number of hats conferred on them - so two for Shahzad Akbar, two for Omar Ayub - no wait one was taken away, the Petroleum one and...."

"How many hats does The Khan wear?"

"He has the king of all hats - the fedora."

"I would have assumed that would be the Jinnah cap."

"Maybe in his youth when he was playing cricket, right now it's the fedora, the sheer size of the hat..."

"Don't be facetious."