"Boris Johnson is recommending taking the bike to work, a proposal designed to contain the spread of the pandemic."

"Hmmm."

"The objective is to avoid rush hour traffic which could be a source of spreading the virus, and not to use public transport which is even more a source of the spread of the virus."

"Won't work in Pakistan."

"Why ever not?"

"Well, a bike is a poor man's mode of transport and so no one who has a motorbike or a car is going to ride a bike."

"Biking is an excellent form of exercise and I am sure The Khan, an exercise buff, would be the first one to take to this idea."

"The Khan is not that young any more - have you seen the incline going up to his house in Banigala? I mean even his young sons would have a tough time biking up."

"Indeed going down is so very easy isn't it! That's what I say to all my politician friends and..."

"The problem with you is that you don't realize when I am being literal and when I am speaking figuratively."

"Anyway I would like him to pass a directive to his large cabinet to either bike to work or bike out of their prestigious and lucrative jobs."

"And the public may benefit - for example, if Container Shah bikes to work then a lot of these containers and traffic diversions would disappear overnight."

"Please don't mention Hafeez Sheikh, he is not well and will get a doctor's certificate."

"Speaking of certificates I cannot understand this Shahbaz Sharif bashing. The guy is a cancer survivor at best, I am assuming he is still cancer free, and I know my mom is one too and the doctor has said she is high risk and not to go out of the house."

"Right, but going back to biking to work I guess the young Khanzadehs would easily be able to follow the directive - Zulfi Bukhari, Zartaj Gul, Murad Saeed, Moeed Yousaf, and a decade older I reckon Hammad Azhar and those who seem fit like Asad Umar. But all others will refuse - either because of their wealth or because of age or because of..."

"But if The Khan links biking with keeping the job then the Prime Minister can distinguish between the wheat and the chaff - the wheat will follow his instructions up to the letter even if they drop dead while the chaff will wait for the next government to get a cabinet position..."

"Don't be facetious."