Uma wanted nothing to do with the Chechen war and sat out the fighting hundreds of kilometres from her homeland. But the war found her anyway.
"They caught my cousin, and he confessed on television to killing 200 people. Now there is a blood feud against my family. They say he killed women too so none of us are safe," the 34-year-old told Reuters in Moscow.
She plans to flee abroad, to any country that will take her, joining the thousands of Chechens leaving every month, making them one of the world's largest groups of asylum seekers. Many complain of prejudice and hostility in Russia itself.
The United Nations says nearly 37,000 Russian citizens - mostly from Chechnya - claimed asylum in the West in the 12 months to April. As soon they can, Uma, her husband and her five children will follow them.
Chechens reject allegations by Russian officials that they are leaving for economic reasons, saying there is a real danger to their lives if they stay.
"It was when the police beat up my grandfather that we decided this war would never end. We had never wanted to leave before," Uma said, softly stroking her 7-year-old son's dark hair as he read a picture book.
Russian troops have been fighting separatists in Chechnya for a decade. President Vladimir Putin says rebels are near to defeat and the situation is normalising.
But clashes kill rebels, police and troops daily, while human rights groups say civilians are terrified of night raids by camouflage-clad men in unmarked armoured vehicles, which the two sides blame on each other.
"Recently, a healthy 24-year-old was killed, and officials claimed he died of a heart attack. Well, what can you say? If such cases are possible, of course people want to leave," said Svetlana Gannushkina, the head of Civic Assistance, a rights group which provides legal and medical advice.
"Who leaves? People with some money, but who have nearly spent it all. Chechens often have gold, it's prestigious, so they have something to sell."
She said Chechens who stayed in their homeland could not find jobs and were often refused assistance by the government, adding to difficulties caused by rebel or army attacks.
Chechens who move to other Russian regions were frequently denied legal registration or schooling for their children.
Former nurse Amina left Grozny after her husband was killed during the Russian siege of the Chechen capital in 1999. She gave birth to a second, disabled son a month after he died.
"My older son sat in a basement for a year and watched people die. There were corpses all over the streets and we just had to get out and come to Moscow," said Amina.
"Here I have tried to get registration, but they do this," she said, holding up her middle finger and scowling. "There's your registration, Chechen."
Russian or pro-Moscow Chechen officials have not commented on the thousands of Chechens fleeing the country, though the Foreign Ministry accused the United States of undermining the "war against terrorism" by offering a rebel leader asylum last month.
They say more refugees are returning to Chechnya from neighbouring regions than are leaving, and Chechens fleeing abroad use danger as a pretext to win asylum in other countries.
"If they were only leaving for security reasons they would go to other regions of Russia. But they leave to go abroad. They stay in Europe because it is rich," said Taus Dzhabrailov, chairman of Chechnya's interim parliament or State Council.
"Before people fled attacks by troops and bandits. Now the security is better than last year, we have control of the situation although it is not quite good enough for us to be happy. People are definitely coming back."
Chechens bridle at such reassurances, which they say are designed only to persuade the world that Chechnya is stable.
"If I had any hope that maybe in five years things would be fine then I wouldn't have decided to go," said Salman, a motor mechanic who plans to leave with his wife and four children.
"My oldest son is 15, and he hardly speaks Russian let alone foreign languages," he told Reuters outside his workshop in Grozny, a city shattered by Russian bombing five years ago.
The exodus of Chechens will only complicate Russian attempts to stabilise the region, by depriving the country of many of its educated and young workers.
"Our children will grow up abroad, learn a new language and I suppose they will never return. But I would like to die and be buried in my homeland," said Uma.
"Poor Chechnya. All the best people have died or are leaving. How can it ever get well?"
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