PARTLY FACETIOUS: It’s on a need to know basis

“Hello, hello may I speak to the Managing Director?”

“This is his principal secretary Sheila D’Souza, what is this in connection to?”

“Excuse me, Ms D’Souza it’s on a need to know basis and you don’t need to know…hello, hello…she disconnected.”

Ring, ring.

“I apologize profusely I wasn’t aware that you were related to …… Khan…hello, hello…she disconnected again.”

“Sir may I suggest that I call Ms D’Souza from my phone and get her to connect to the MD?”

“If you think you will succeed, sure.”

Ring.

“Hello Ms D’Souza, Faisal here from the Islamabad head office…how are you, if you recall we met a few weeks ago though I am sure you won’t remember me but I simply cannot forget your poise, your elegance…ha ha…yes, yes, I agree…right…right…oh yes I almost forget is it possible to talk to the MD? Yes! Thanks…here sir she is connecting to the MD.”

“Hello sir, how are you sir. Yes I wanted your OK to fire three senior people and I wanted your input……”

“Good heavens man have you learnt nothing in the New Pakistan! Extend khairaj-i-tehseen (accolades galore) to each individual…and then axe them.”

“OK sir, but one is senior in years to me and I feel bad about firing him and…”

“Khairaj-i-tehseen followed by a text.”

“OK, one is a mistake so out he goes; but the third one sir is someone I hired and it was a mistake – he is plain simple incompetent and……”

“Would you like to admit to the staff that you were wrong?”

“Well I was duped and there is a slight complication in his case, he is my wife’s brother in law but I will henceforth hire only on merit and….sir why are you laughing?”

“Weren’t you in college with my younger brother?”

“Yes sir, but I have proven to you…”

“Right. Follow the path of the chosen: Khairaj-i-tehseen and then either fire him or do a shuffle – send him to another department.”

“Sir!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021