PARTLY FACETIOUS: Uncle ‘Shabby’

“I was watching Maryam Nawaz Sharif and I wondered….”

“She seems to have accepted that she is the party’s distant future and that Uncle Shabby…”

“Shabby? Shahbaz Sharif? Are you out of your mind! I mean the guy’s sense of dress, without having lived in the UK or worked there, is similar to that of a white English male - the safari suits for summer, the normal suits for winter, different hats for each season and not to forget the appropriate shoes….”

“Uncle shabby, not as in the word shabby, but Uncle Shabby from the name Shahbaz, and as you know the Nawaz Sharif family, including Maryam, like Anglo-Saxon names, look at the names they chose for their offshore companies, so Uncle Shabby it is!”

“The Khan used to be well dressed when he was married to Jemima – I recently saw one of his old pictures wearing a Burberry trench coat – now if memory serves me right Uncle Shabby has never been seen in a Burberry trench coat so far….”

“I have seen him in a Burberry scarf.”

“Right but that’s not what I thought when I saw Maryam on the tube….”

“That the Good Captain Hook was missing!”

“Hey I take exception to that. I mean Captain Hook is the bad guy with one hand, in Disney’s Peter Pan, and Captain Safdar is by no means a baddie, he is simply….simply….”

“Simply a non-issue even though The Khan’s inner coterie tried to make him an issue a couple of times yet they did not succeed. Anyway the Captain’s presence is not required when Parveen Rashid is there and I hope he is rewarded like Gilani sahib has been……”

“I told you to get that keyboard checked before.…”

“Before what?”

“Before the defamation laws are tightened and someone gets to pay for defaming anyone…”

“Not in my lifetime. The Law Minister has prepared a set of criminal laws, good laws, but it took him three and a half years to do that.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022