PARTLY FACETIOUS: What’s best form of defence?

“All politicians, without exception, have foot in the mouth disease.”

“That’s hardly a defence…”

“Attack as they say is the best form of defence.”

“Even for pacifists?”

“Ha ha, that’s true — but there is one difference between the status quo politicians and the Third Force?”

“Ha ha ha…”

“Why are you laughing?”

“From Justice Party to a Party of Change to a Hybrid System to the Third Force! Quite a rapid transition I say.”

“Indeed, but as I said there is one difference between the status quo politicians and The Khan.”

“I know that! The Khan doesn’t like reading prepared speeches and the fault for that lies with Nawaz Sharif who embarrassingly is the only world leader caught on tape who read out a statement on the White House lawn.”

“Look at the glass as half full — at least he made no geographical or historical errors or…”

“OK, I grant you that but anyway the difference between The Khan and the status quo politicians when in power was that while they, like The Khan, routinely bad mouthed their domestic opposition, they did not extend this courtesy to world leaders…”

“Hmmmm, anyway The Khan says Pakistan is in no camp though he also gave his usual lecture about resolving all issues peacefully though I gather neither Russia nor the West will appreciate his advice; besides the Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan have spurned our peace overtures…”

“Ha ha, The Khan also says that our economy is doing well.”

“And he also says that inflation has nothing to do with his government policies while his government proceeds to inject massive amount of money into the economy to meet its runaway expenditure, highly inflationary policy as per economic theory.”

“Anyway I would urge The Khan to take appropriate medicine for his foot in the mouth disease while in Russia because that could have serious consequences for our overseas Pakistanis in the West who are sending remittances…”

“The Overseas Pakistanis can now exercise their vote to…”

“Please, please read out prepared speeches only, do not give extempore interviews, please, please, pretty please…”

“Wishes are horses in your mind and beggars are a-riding.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022