PARTLY FACETIOUS: The front hitters

“So who are the front hitters of the incumbent eleven-party coalition government?”

“Front as opposed to back hitters?”

“What’s the difference between the two?”

“Back hitters are those full of hot air and front hitters are those whose threats are taken seriously by the opposing side as they invariably take action following the threat. For example, Sheikh Rashid for all his bravado is a back hitter, the guy loves to talk and threaten but is incapable of throwing a real punch even when he was Interior Minister. In contrast, Rana Sanaullah is a front hitter — he threatens and there is no more talk of a dharna in D-Chowk, he threatens and the PTI’s back hitters are claiming not less than 10 and not more than 40 crore rupees for Punjab vote that would favour Hamza.”

“Maybe there is a need for minor adjustment in your definition because Zardari sahib for all intents and purposes is a back hitter but man does that make the legs of PTIs back hitters tremble!”

“Zardari sahib is an exception, let’s say he is frontloaded.”

“But spiritually…”

“Don’t be facetious, besides I am not here to judge anyone. Anyway there is another prevalent characteristic amongst our politicians: laziness indicated by passing on the buck.”

“Well you couldn’t be referring to Miftah Ismail — I am not sure what he is doing in the ministry as fiscal measures were proposed by the International Monetary Fund, and money for the massive rise in expenditure for the current year is coming from friendly countries or so he says, true he dithered which is reflected by the two phased approach to the finance bill 2022…”

“Ha ha, he couldn’t get the Fund to agree to phase out the conditions so he did the next best thing – he phased out the finance bill.”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway he is very active in the media, his appearance on at least two to three talk shows every day over and above a press conference or two…”

“Right, but that’s not who I was referring to when I referred to laziness. What baffles me is the repeated call to the judiciary to take suo motu action, I mean why don’t you take the matter to court?”

“The politicians between them have filed many, many, cases.”

“You think it’s an attempt to save money by not hiring high fee lawyers?”

“Nah, the lawyer organisations have become highly partisan and each party has its team of lawyers who get portfolios when the party is in power and when it isn’t they provide representations fee-free…”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022