PARTLY FACETIOUS: Kabira khara bazaar mein

“You heard of Judas?” “Isn’t he the one who betrayed Jesus Christ?”

“Yes. According to Christianity’s four canonical gospels, he was one of the twelve apostles of Christ and betrayed him to the Sanhedrin by referring to him as master to reveal his identity.”

“Indeed, if this is your roundabout way of saying betrayal sucks, then I agree. Wait. Are you trying to draw a betrayal parallel with our political elite? If so then you have to define betrayal.”

“I guess these days’ betrayal is akin to a red line and woe to anyone who crosses it. What, or rather who is the red line of The Man who Must Remain Nameless?”

“His spiritual source,…”

“Do you know the reason behind the position?”

“The magic wand…”

“Nope, it’s because of the two hats. All the military dictators in our history were in full control as long as they wore two hats – the hat of the chief of army staff and the hat of the president. The moment they took off one that is when they came tumbling down like…like Humpty Dumpty.”

“The hats weren’t interchangeable – if they took off the hat of the chief of army staff…”

“OK, so which two hats does the spiritual source wear? Oh! Wait I have the answer to that. So those who left their hats behind, and so were inherited…”

“Don’t be facetious. Besides, that would make for three hats wouldn’t it!”

So what are the spiritual source’s two hats?

“That of a spiritual source and…”

“Hmmmm, you reckon that is why the alone time was asked for - because one can’t wear …?”

“Stop it, you may get into trouble with the spirit world.”

“What about nutritionist hat? The diary reveals that…”

“That’s here-say. The first is not in dispute and neither is being the spiritual source to The Man Who Shall Remain Nameless because he said so in public - the diary is not in evidence yet.”

“OK, so who is Mian Nawaz Sharif’s Judas?”

“He is an industrialist and industrialists focus on the negative as opposed to the positive list as you know – you know the import policy has a negative list….”

“Hmmm, I bet Chaudhary Pervez Elahi is at the top of the list, yet again – he was removed from the negative list for a few hours but then off he went to Banigala and the rest as they say is history.”

“What about Notification Maryam Nawaz? Who is her Judas?”

“That list is just too long and becoming longer by the day. I hear her former daughter-in-law was added to it, then there is…”

“Right and Zardari sahib?”

“That’s for Zardari sahib to know and you to find out.”

“Zardari sahib is perhaps the only Kabira in Pakistani politics!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023