Partly Facetious: Complete traffic mayhem in capital

"It's now the second week I reckon of complete, and let me emphasize this, complete traffic mayhem in the capital city."
"Did you hear the joke about the capital city?"
"I am not sure, I am in the mood to hear jokes after spending over five hours in commute every day and could the Visionary Ahsan Iqbal turn his attention towards his failure, complete and utter failure, to deal with the protesters resident on the main highway in Faizabad..."
"I will tell the joke in any case. One man in Lahore wanted to apply for a driver's license and he took the form and went to Islamabad because it said on the form fill it out in capital."
"How dare you refer to Lahore in that context? Do you reckon we are stupid or something? I mean it's the city where Khadim-e-ala has dedicated the past nine years to ushering an era of infrastructure development and...and...stop, hear me out..."
"At the cost of smog which means tripping of electricity, health issues, accidents, delays in flights and trains and loss of productivity and..."
"I disagree smog is the fault of Modi's India, and the people of Lahore will again vote for the PML-N because of the delivery of better services and infrastructure."
"OK, OK, calm down, so how about I shift the man to Karachi but you know Karachi is so far away that the man would need over two or three days to get to Islamabad if that is he does not have money for the air ticket and..."
"And so he would rather not get the license you reckon! But I hear that even though the murder rate has come down in the city the bhatta khors (protection providers) and the China cutters are active so the guy can make money and..."
"Don't be facetious. The Zardaris - Father and Son - are pretty sure they will win the next elections and..."
"OK, so not Karachi either, how about Sukkur? Or Multan?"
"It's dangerous to travel, too much smog, just like in Lahore."
"Peshawar?"
"The Visionary can shut down roads leading from there if the Khan continues to irritate him, and given Iqbal's daily comments almost exclusively against the Khan, so perhaps not."
"Pindi would that do for your joke?"
"Hmmm, but that brings me back to the protesters in Faizabad having increased our commute time to five hours at least and..."
"I give up."