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"So whose fault is it?"

"The mafias - led by the opposition mafia at the top followed by the traders/wholesalers/retailers/manufacturers mafia and..."

"Is that the order - wholesalers followed by retailers followed by..."

"As long as you place manufacturers last, I will have you know Jehangir Tareen and Khusro Bakhtiar have been exonerated and they are engaged in manufacturing..."

"Excuse me, but the opposition mafia is also engaged in manufacturing!"

"They will be caught and justice will be done, but tell me what is it about sugar and wheat that attracts our politicians' investments?"

"Staple items, you could be rich or poor you have to buy them."

"Hmmm, anyway be patient The Khan has said he will check food prices and The Khan is an honourable man."

"Indeed he is honourable, though he may not be the best informed man and..."

"Be careful for if you had made that comment after the regulatory laws with respect to media, print, electronic, social, begin to be implemented then..."

"I stand corrected, but all I said was that some members of his cabinet are may be presenting a biased opinion of the performance of the ministries they head..."

"They may be stakeholders but they are all honourable men and The Khan has no reason to doubt what they are saying and it's the dratted media mafia that is maligning them."

"I reckon an independent assessment of their performance..."

"That ain't happening, so back off. Anyway if the shoe doesn't fit and the mafias are absolved of all blame then it is the smugglers and need I add they also constitute a mafia of sorts - though the beneficiaries consist of public servants, defined as those who are paid from our tax money..."

"What bothered me the most is that a man who does not belong to any mafia stated that the mafia in the media is spreading lies about the International Monetary Fund's recent mission because the press release said a lot of good things and I would just like to request him to read the press release which specifies that steadfast progress is required before the mission would seek its Board approval for the release of the next tranche. That means prior conditions for the release of the next tranche have not been met."

"Who do you mean? Who doesn't belong to a mafia? Sheikh Rashid?"

"Sheikh Rashid amongst all the cabinet members has the look of a mafia don and what he has done to Railways, hiring people from Pindi and..."

"OK, so not him, how about Khusro Bakhtiar?"

"Already exonerated!"

"How about...couldn't be Firdous Ashiq Awan..."

"I said a man."

"Sorry, how about...I give up..."

"The man charged with transforming the education system in this country - Shafqat Mehmud..."

"Education has been devolved and..."

"And those dratted Zardis need to be taken to task first..."

"I give up."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2020

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