PARTLY FACETIOUS: in the backwater of the beyond
Chaudhry Sahib is a good learner."
"Which Chaudhry?"
"Pervez Elahi, the Punjab Chief Minister?"
"What lesson has he learned?"
"To ensure that the top man remains happy. It doesn't matter even if the top one changes - the point is whoever is at the top must be kept happy."
"Well, that is hardly a lesson learnt - that is a prerequisite in our politics. Tell me who hasn't learnt this basic principle?"
"Well there is...there is....there is then....."
"I tell you, my friend - you can take an entire day and you would be unable to come up with a name...and please don't take the names of those who haven't made it into politics - I mean there are many who haven't always toed the line and look where they are now! In the backwater of beyond as far as politics is concerned."
"All are in the backwater of beyond. I mean no politician has any real power today?"
"Ah, yes but some have a house, a car and household help provided by the state."
"Yep, that is true. Tell me what happened to the Maulanas' protest action with regard to government actions against the nuclear scientists."
"Did they not know that the pardon had taken place a day earlier."
"Well, you know when you take so much time organising a rally you just can't abandon it at the last minute because the rationale is no more...."
"That's silly! Anyway the lesson that Pervez Elahi learnt well from his previous lords and masters, none other than the Sharif's, is that you have to show people some of the money spent otherwise discontent will rear its ugly head. And that you have to reward your supporters otherwise there might be a small matter of a revolt amongst the rank and file."
"So what did he do?"
"He has made roads, many, many roads in Lahore...."
"Some one was telling me that while in the old days of the Mughals, and here I refer to the Brothers Sharif, all roads led to first Model Town and then to Raiwind...."
"OK, OK, you are right. With Chaudhry Sahib all roads lead to a certain part of Gulberg shall we say...."
"Ah yes and then I also heard that all the ministers and everyone else was just tired of using second hand cars - I mean if the establishment can get new ones why can't our politicians."
"Because we are still being ruled by the establishment and not by..."
"That's an anti-state comment...don't you know what foreign governments will say and do to us if it gets out that our version of democracy is kind of a new and improved..."
"Don't be facetious."
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