Partly Facetious: private enterprise at its best

"The PM in waiting thinks he can attract foreign investment into the country."
"I would challenge that. I think Musharraf and not the PM in waiting, has attracted foreign money - not investment mind you, foreign money from donors and bilaterals - all because of services rendered to the Americans on the Pakistan-Afghanistan border."
"So private investment..."
"Has not yet been forthcoming. Maybe the in-waiting chap wants to put a system in place which would attract private enterprise and..."
"I tell you we already have such a system in place."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean we have private enterprise."
"How can you say that when government after government, Prime Minister after Prime Minister has said that once they are in power, and only when they and no other are in power, private investment would begin to flow into the country?"
"Have you read the story about the offer made by our government that they would pay $200, a large sum if you ask me for people in our and our neighbouring country, anyway this sum is offered to anyone who voluntarily hands over a kalashnikov to our officials."
"I didn't know about this but I can understand the motive behind such a policy. Obviously to get the kalashnikov out of harm's way so to speak."
"Well, I read somewhere that Afghan commanders are buying up cheap kalashnikovs, I guess those kalashnikovs that are falling apart by now after all the Soviets were in Afghanistan quite a while back and their products, shall we say, must be in various stages of disintegration, anyway they are buying the guns and then come over the border to NWFP, hand them to our officials, get the $200 and then return for more. Private enterprise at its best."
"Why don't our guys realise that?"
"Hey, I am sure many palms are being greased, another feature of private enterprise a la Pakistani style."
"But this is not foreign investment inflow...I mean I grant you it maybe private enterprise but it is not an inflow - on the contrary, it is an outflow."
"Oh, well you have to dole out money for security, right Prime Minister in waiting."
"And even then they are summarily dismissed."
"I wasn't referring to the security of office, you idiot - but security of the country, you know national interest and all that."
"Indeed. That cannot be challenged."