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A few years ago, maybe a couple or so, there was an outbreak of Foot '&' Mouth disease (dubbed 'Mad Cow' disease) amongst cattle, the four-legged kind, mainly in Europe.
This resulted in a lot of cattle being put to sleep, boycott of beef products and scurrying by the big pharma companies to develop vaccines to prevent this affliction from spreading.
In our 'enlightened' republic, symptoms and signs point to the spread of Foot 'in' Mouth Disease (FIMD). The difference between '&' and 'in' being that 'in' afflicts the two-legged kind.
According to experts, germs of FIMD have been discovered in the plateaus of Potohar region, more particularly at the footsteps of the Margalla Hills.
Symptoms include day-dreaming, denial, hallucinating, unbridled use of muscle power and stating fiction instead of facts. Selective use of language, a short memory span and insulting the sensibilities of those not suffering from the strains of FIMD, are visible signs too.
Citizens, eat chicken but this bird not to be served at the 'two big houses' and to holders of any passport other than our own green booklet.
Excessive electricity being produced but load-shedding and outages continue unabated. Dams full of water but taps running dry.
Get late to give a brief and get muscled and stitched up. Internal security situation under control but people getting killed. There is no street crime but reality is something else. Roads are safe but for a few landmines. Reports say that new symptoms are being discovered almost daily.
Experts feel FIMD is very contagious and already reports are filtering in of it having spread to the provinces and are fearful of FIMD assuming pandemic proportions by 2007 if a cure is not found immediately.
It is wondered which company will be approached and when to develop a vaccine for it.

Copyright Business Recorder, 2006

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