Imagine a scenario wherein Newton, that great physicist and logician, comes to Pakistan as a state guest and is invited by his hosts to watch a few Lollywood movies to make him see that 'heroes' in this 'enlightened' land are truly individualistic with a mind-set of their own and convince him that logic, being a part of the human sensibility he had studied about together with his knowledge of physics were just a huge pile of mumbo-jumbo.
The hosts' selected movies starring Sultan Rahi (directors and script-writers deserve Oscars, for at least the great ideas they weave into their flicks), Newton got confused to such an extent that insanity was hovering around the corner for him.
Here are a few scenes that made Newton question his studies;
1) Sultan Rahi has a Brain Tumor, which according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights to save the honour of his love-interest, our great hero is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking the tumor along with it and he is cured! The hero and his beloved lived happily thereafter.
2) In another movie, hero sahib is confronted by 3 gangsters. Rahi has a gun but, unfortunately, only one bullet and a scabbarded knife.
Guess, what he does to save the day? He skilfully unsheathes the knife and flings it with the back of his hand at the gangster in the centre and fires the bullet at the knife in flight. The knife fragments into three pieces, which kill all the gangsters.
3) The hero is chased and cornered by a hoodlum who has orders to kill him.
Rahi's character has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does? (let your imagination run amok). He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, the hero opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet in it. Then, he closes the bullet compartment, aims and fires the weapon.
Bang!! The gangster dies. This was too much for Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back home. But curiosity got the better of him and he insisted on watching one more Rahi starrer thinking that at least one movie would be logical.
The movie begins and the story line is moving along alright and Newton is happy that all in the world is not illogical and far removed from reality.
The hero finds out that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that our hero can't jump even if he tries one of those superman stunts that our film directors like to show. Rahi character is desperate...it's either him or the villain who will bite the bullet.
This situation has Newton smiling, thinking the hero will finally, in all logic, meet his fate. Or will he? The hero suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun is above the height of the wall, uses the second gun to fire at the trigger of the first gun in the air. The first gun fires and gets the villain smack in the forehead.
Newton couldn't stomach what he saw and sought the only way out of this illogical and comical predicament...he commits suicide!!
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