Respecting yourself and others

One of the most beautiful qualities of the holy Prophet (saw) was that he made every individual feel special and loved. Hazrat Hasan (RA) transmitting from his father Hazrat Ali (KW) reveals that ".He allowed every sitting person his share. None of his associates ever thought that the other was superior to him in his eyes.
If anybody sat with him or stood near him for a need he bore it till he had turned his face . He who asked him about his requirement did not return but with it or with something consoling uttered. His kindness and good treatment were more extensive than of all the people as if he were a father to them. All people were equal in his sight regarding rights. His assembly was the assembly of forbearance, modesty endurance, and trust never a voice was raised nor the shortcomings of the members of the family made known nor the defects of the people exposed.'...Ibn Saad
Respect for others means to acknowledge the unique personality that each person has been bestowed with by the Creator in accordance with his role in God's plan. To acknowledge the Divine light within each to be humble, gentle and kind to His Creatures. For "to love the Creator" says a saint, "is to love His Creation."
It is mentioned in the Quran, that when Allah Taala created this world, He offered His trust to the mountains and the rest of creation, but they refused to accept it. Man undertook this heavy responsibility of being Allah 's vicegerent on earth, which meant various responsibilities, rights and duties incumbent on every individual.
To live on this earth with the awareness that since everything reflected Allah's light , it needed to be respected just as one would wish oneself to be respected. The earth, animals, fellow beings and since it was only possible to observe these rights and duties in a collective set-up, the faith envisaged a social order, which allowed for their implementation.
There was no concept of a dichotomy between the secular and religious as everything fell within the purview of Islam, even eating, sleeping, drinking as Islam really meant to return or revert back to man's original nature. The laws of Islam merely directing one to what would be most beneficial for man, in accordance with his true original nature, which he had forgotten, reminding him of his original home with his Creator.
These laws tell us how to live together, while respecting individual rights and differences , working for a better society and the next world. Although God had bestowed His gifts variedly, yet His gifts ( wealth, knowledge and talents) were meant as a trust .To be used for the betterment of mankind, to win His pleasure. The constant reminder of the Hereafter was significant to prevent injustice and crime, under influence of passions and desires and to encourage us to do good.
We sin when we deny or usurp another's rights to get what we want, through lying, cheating, stealing etc. As resources become scarcer and competition fiercer, we are more tempted to sin to fulfil our desires or wants. Religion reminds us that Allah has preordained everyone's sustenance and we should accept and respect His laws and decrees, of being content with what we are given for God is never unjust and has bestowed His bounties in His own wisdom. .
An individual's responsibility is in accordance with the gifts bestowed upon him by God. God, in his social hierarchy, has placed greater responsibility on those whom He has blessed with bounties such as wealth and knowledge, power. All these gifts will be enquired into on the Day of Reckoning .(so, o ye wealthy ones be not too pleased for you will have a longer reckoning as to how you used that wealth.).
Hence those who are rich must share their wealth and look after the poor. The weak, women and children and the old must be protected by the strong. The ruler has the duty to look after his subjects and see that none are wronged. The owners must look after their servants, and vice versa. The manner in which these responsibilities are fulfilled generates respect.
That is why Hazrat Umar (RA), as a caliph, would scour the streets of his domain to seek out anyone hungry or aggrieved, to redress their wrongs, for he knew, that as a ruler, his subjects were his responsibility and he would be answerable on that Day. One saint quotes a tradition of the Holy Prophet (SAW), "The gift of Allah to His servant is a beggar at his door". The latter allows the giver to receive God's blessings for his gift and must not be rejected but 'give to him from the blessings that are kept with him for the beggar.'
People abuse the concept of sharing God's gifts to allow for exploitation and tardiness , making implausible demands on other's time, energy and resources when they are able to provide for themselves. Acting from laziness or just deriving satisfaction from a free lunch at another's expense. When charity is for those who strive to improve themselves, yet are victims of circumstances. To beg from others otherwise is to lose self respect.
The poor use it as an excuse to happily sit back, content to beg, rather than strive. Offer a beggar a job nowadays and he would much rather beg than work.
A parent revealed how she'd often find a friend with her young ones, when she'd go to pick them from school, who'd proudly inform her , 'Mommy says you have to drop me home.' Another complained that each time her son's friend came over, his parents expected him to be dropped home. A teenager lamented how his friends, who had cars of their own, always would expect him to ferry them around, to various places, never offering to take him sometimes, till he put his foot down.
And the list goes, when infact, sharing has to balanced with respect for the individual's right to privacy and space . "Knock before entering people homes ,rooms" (Quran) and "keep spaces amongst yourselves" (Quran).
Then there are general rights and duties of a Muslim to greet his fellow Muslim , to visit him when he's ill and go to his wedding. And a wide range of laws to govern human interaction, to give people their due and not hurt or cheat them. Differences are a reflection of God's myriad qualities and need to be respected for God has said that "We have you created you in tribes and races so that you many learn from each other," Quran.
Respect for others is reflected in the manner we act and speak, to avoid hurting or embarrassing others' feelings or infringing on their rights. To be considerate of their time and space, respecting differences of opinion, temperament. A tradition of the Holy Prophet (saw) states, 'A Muslims is one from whose hands and tongue other Muslims are safe.'
This consideration for others feelings is rapidly vanishing, reflects Dr Saima. "We were taught to treat everyone, including servants, with respect, to think that others were better. Not daring to pass judgement on others, we would avoid personal comments, thinking that a person might feel hurt or small as a result. It was deemed better not to say anything. But all this comes from faith," she continues "for one never knows the other's a rank is in Allah's eyes. Maybe he is better."
Unlike in the past, she continues when. "People would sit on the streets of Lahore to watch the few cars pass admiring them, today, the thought that immediately strikes them is, "How can he have that car, why can't I have it too?" No one is content with another's happiness. "
Giving respect to others and being fair automatically engenders respect and trust. When you know that a person would not deliberately harm you and hurt your dignity.
Most of the world' disputes would resolve if we had enough respect to hear others out rather than passing judgement and acting on misunderstandings and followed the credo of 'live and let live'. If people respected the laws of nature, conscious of being part of a higher order they had to leave behind for posterity, the world would not be beset with global problems.
Most people connect respect with abuse of power, like the Pharaoh of Hazrat Musa's (AS) time, demanding it from others at the point of death. But bossing people around and being pushy does not win anyone's love or respect. Respect is not forced , nor gained by wealth, power, rank, knowledge, deeds but resides in a person's manners and character.
The holy Prophet (SAW) was known as 'amin' or trustworthy, before the revelation, for as his wife consoled him, after the first revelation, 'he was kind to the poor, the weak and needy and took care of his relations and God would not forsake him.' A person worthy of respect doesn't need the praise or respect of others. For him the only beings' pleasure that matters is God's and hence his conscience, at peace with itself, does not concern himself with others.