PARTLY FACETIOUS: PTI legislators need some training

“I want to start a course for the PTI legislators – they need some training urgently…”

“They have been in power for more than two years so they must have learned all they wanted to learn by now, others before them did.”

“Some take longer than others but I am confident that once they take my course they will pass with flying colours.”

“Why are you doing this? For the money I presume.”

“I am doing it in the national interest, and I will charge minimal fee and hopefully in the national interest they will pay for the course out of their own pockets instead of from the exchequer and….”

“Whatever your fees the fact is that it would be pennies with respect to total government expenditure for a year….”

“But the optics…”

“Indeed The Khan has cut down on all expenses associated with the office he holds, good optics, but the budget deficit remains unsustainable…”

“You have to appreciate his effort, but I would urge The Khan to be careful – I mean if a private party or a foreign power pays for his official trips then he may be indebted to them and that may determine the country’s policies and…”

“The Khan never allows indebtedness to come in the way of righteousness - and as an example look at where Jehangir Tareen and his son are today?!”

“That’s true anyway the course that you want to teach the PTI cabinet…what is it on? I mean is it on good governance - now that, as you know, is not entirely the responsibility of the executive but the bureaucrats many of whom owe allegiance to the PML-N because they were in power for ten years….”

“No it’s not on good governance - it’s on a matter even more important.”

“Oh? On how not to do the same o same o as their predecessors – use public money to inaugurate projects and get publicity…”

“No and it isn’t on how to make a u turn with minimal negative implications on one’s popularity. No I want to give a course on deniability.”

“Hey that’s no subject.”

“Neither was governance two to three decades ago.”

“So what will you teach?”

“How to ensure deniability – I mean The Khan’s band of media mis-managers are unable to make their narrative of deniability stick. National Accountability Bureau takes decisions independent of the executive, the filing of the FIR against forty plus PML-N executive committee members was without any complicity by the government….”

“Ha, ha good luck with that!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2020